"Dear God says..." & other Yikealo-isms

Conversations with the boy can be pretty interesting. Yikealo's latest tactic when he's trying to get his way is to tell us what "Dear God" says on any given matter. He's certainly inventive - I'll give him that much! Take the following conversation for instance:

Y: "Mom, what are you doing?"
Me: "I'm making soup for supper tonight."
Y: "I no like it soup."
Me: "Yes you do. You've liked every kind of soup that we've given you so far."
Y: "No, I don't. Dear God says, 'No like it soup.' Dear God says, 'Yes, like it, milkshapes.'"
Me: "I see. Well, I don't really remember that part of the Bible, and besides, I am NOT making you a milkshake right now!"

Or this one:

Y: "Mom, please fix train track."
Me: "I'm doing dishes right now. Just wait a few minutes, and when I'm finished, I'll fix your train track.
Y: "Dear God says, 'Don't do dishes!'"
Me: "PLEASE get me the chapter and verse on that one, okay?"

Or this:

Y: "Mom, please watch train movie?"
Me: "No. I am making eggs for your breakfast, and besides, you do NOT need to watch that glorified GeoTrax advertisement again!" (It came with his train at Christmas, and he LOVES the annoying thing.)
Y: "Dear God says, 'No eat eggs.' Dear God says, 'Yes watch movie.'"
Me: "Sorry to disagree with you, but Dear God did not say that you should watch movies. What He DOES say is that you need to obey your Mama, so why don't you stop being mouthy, okay?"
Hey, like my friend Lori says, at least he's gotten the idea that what God says is important to us!

In addition to Dear God stories, he still talks about George the imaginary monkey all of the time. Just this morning he was asking David to discipline George for "bossing" him. Yeah, right. If anyone is being bossy, you can pretty much bet that it's Yikealo. The other day, he informed us that George was hitting him and needed a time out, and we also were supposed to tell George to stop touching Yikealo's puzzle. A few weeks ago, I had thrown my hip out of place and stayed home from church on Sunday morning. When David brought Yikealo home, I asked if he had been a good boy. He said that he had, but "George needed time out." I wondered what George had been doing to necessitate punishment, and Yikealo informed me that "He very bad boy. He no wear pants, shoes and coat. Sit chair, time out." So, apologies to those of you who may have been shocked by a naked monkey running around at church!

Speaking of bossiness, here is an exchange that we had several weeks ago. I was taking his shoes off and had just leaned down to smooch his cheek while doing so:

Y: "Don't kissa me! Is veddy annoween!"
Me: "Did you just tell me that I was annoying?"
Y: "Yes. You kissa me and then I says veddy annoween."
Me: "Well, I'm allowed to kiss you whenever I want to. So there." (More smooches follow. Yeah, I know, really mature of me!)
Y: (Giggling) "I says NO KISSA ME! Time out - right nyow!"
Me: "You are not allowed to give me a time out. I'm the Mom."

A few minutes later, Yikealo came into my room, and took my hand.

Y: "Mom, come here. I show ya somethin'." (He proceeded to lead me to the "time out" chair in the living room.) "Sit down." (I did.) "Mom, I says no kissa me and you did. Time out. Ever, ever EVER don't do lat again, okay? Now cry."
Me: (laughing) "Ummm.....I think that we might need to work on who is the boss around here."

Other funny moments have occurred while he's been trying to figure out certain relationships. Recently, we spent a few days at a small water park with my sister's family, and Yikealo had a great time playing with his cousin Shana. He's since informed us that he wants us to "make a girl for him - just like Shana!" I think that would be pretty difficult, considering that she's almost nine. Anyway, he was going on about how much fun Shana was, and I asked if Shana was his friend. He replied, "Yeah! Mom, Unca Seff my friend too?" ("Unca Seff" would be Uncle Seth, my youngest brother.) I said that I was sure that Unca Seff would consider Yikealo to be his friend. Then he followed with this question, "Mom, is Unca Seff my husband?" Ummmm....that answer would be no, son! He's been obsessed with husbands lately, probably since I told him that Daddy was my husband. We said that girls have husbands and boys have wives, so maybe someday he can have a wife, to which he replied that he wants Shana. Sorry bud, but she's your cousin, so you can't marry her either!

Last week, after spending the day at Aunt Susan's house, we had this conversation:
Y: "Mom, are you my Susan?"
Me: "No, I'm your Mama."
Y: "No, no, no. Aunt Susan is Quinn's Mama?"
Me: "Yes."
Y: "And you my Mama, yes?"
Me: "That's right."
Y: "So, are you my Susan?"
Me: "Well, I suppose if that's how you're putting it, then I guess I am your Susan. But please call me Mom, okay?" I told Suz that she must be the quintessential mother figure!

Overall, his language skills have been pretty amazing, but we are highly entertained by certain pronunciations. Some of our current favorites are: "ack-shik-ally" (actually), "a-stunk-a-stink" (disgusting), "pin-cuter" (computer), and "cat-a-pick-alor" (caterpillar).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if Yikealo is talking, there is usually amusement to follow!