Saturday, June 27, 2009

On Carseats (Car seats? Car-seats?)

Possibly, we thought it would install itself. Maybe we can blame this all on remembering that we needed to install our carseat after taking our Ambien in hopes getting one last good night's sleep. Regardless, we have met our Waterloo; colectomy? you ask --no problem. Adoption? Yes Lord. Nursing Home Auxiliary garage sale? Cake. Car-seat...melt down.

I should have seen this coming; I am, after all, an engineer... though not mechanical. Are not mothers simply an older version of the females who ignored our existence at college? Why should they not be forced to pay? They can ignore us no longer... we laugh (maniacally). Let's see... how can we make this more difficult? Junk design - check. Obtuse terminology - check. Oh, get this: let's combine the reference manuals for all our models into one single document and ship it with all our products (giggle)!

So I find myself at 11:00 PM the night before we leave for Ethiopia looking at the "all in oneder" super model car seat that is good for any child from 3 ounces to 250 lbs and is configurable for all target users (somewhere my mother-in-law is laughing). Must.... try... to... understand... chinglish... instructions.... through... Ambien....

Instruction One: you MUST place your child in the carseat before installation in order to adjust to the appropriate size. Ummm.... Yi-ke is in Ethiopia. I MUST install the car-seat before leaving for the airport so I don't get arrested on my way home... this is what I MUST do. Obviously I'm dealing with amateurs. As a conscientious systems analyst I know that we must account for all possible usage scenarios. The car-seat instruction writers never even considered we would have this abomination and not have a child... how sophomoric!

Grab cat. Place in car seat. Position as child. Get hissed at. Cat escapes while I'm adjusting the shoulder harness... rats.

I am getting very sleepy.......

Morning finds our intrepid hero victorious over the vile beast from Carseat. I'd get into more of the exciting adventures, but did I mention we're leaving this morning to meet our son?


  1. Oh my goodness!!! I knew you were a good writer D, I just forgot HOW good!!!! We are praying continually for both and Yi-ke!!! I checked on the kitties this morning and they send their love too!!! Tigg

  2. What a blessing! Thank you for doing this blog. We have been so anxious and excited to hear how you are doing.
    We are so happy you are home safely and received such a blessing..a new son.. at the end of your journey. We can't wait to meet him. Give him a kiss for us.
    Be patient with yourselves, not one person I know was totally ready for their first child. Remember with all the advice given and books read go with your gut instinct..all a child needs is love, hugs and time spent being and playing with them. You will be GREAT PARENTS. Love and prayers A. Vicki, U. Ernie & family Soo Happy For You

  3. I am giggling uncontrollably about the car seat!