Be Still and Know

Winter Fun!

2012-01-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

After getting about 7 inches of snow over the last 2 days, David and Mr. Y decided to show me their new favorite place this morning. At the end of our little dead-end street, is a large wooded area, complete with trails, little streams, and some serious hills. We discovered it during 2010's long, beautiful autumn, and we enjoyed quite a few long walks along the trails. This past fall was very wet, and we didn't have the chance to visit the woods, but now we have uncovered its incredible beauty by winter. The best part? A steep hill with a long, straight stretch at the bottom...absolutely PERFECT for sliding down on Yikealo's little snowboard.

Okay, true confessions here: I may have shrieked like a banshee on my first trip down the hill, but boy, was it ever fun! And...a certain five-year old thinks it is the best thing ever.

Goodbye, 2011!

2011-12-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

It's been a beautiful, calm year...filled with waiting and hoping and watching and growing and learning. It's hard to believe that it's over already, but we are looking forward to what 2012 will bring too. Regardless of the circumstances in which we may find ourselves, we know that God is faithful, and we can't wait to see what He will teach us in the days ahead!

Our December numbers were #31 for a girl and #22 for a boy. This year we have moved 53 spots on the girl's list and 40 spots on the boy's list. Last week we came so close to getting a referral: the family directly behind us on the waitlist saw their little girl's face for the first time. They turned in their dossier two days after we did, and we had exactly the same age parameters. So why did they get the referral instead of us, you ask? Well, there are a couple of answers to that question. First, their new daughter is somewhere between the age of 4 & 5...they don't know an exact birthdate. We can't actually go all the way up to our highest possible age of 59 months yet, since Yikealo is only 5 and a half, and there must be at least 10 months of age between him and his new sibling. Our agency didn't want to take a chance that this little girl might be too close to Y's age, and therefore the next family was called. However, I personally believe this far simpler and yet more profound answer: she wasn't "ours." She is not who God has planned for us, and she needed someone else. We are confident that God knows His plans for all of us, and we rest in that knowledge. His timing will be right...no matter how long that takes.

To our future child: we love you, we miss you, and we can't wait until the day when we can finally see your face. Until then, we will continue to pray that God will hold you in the palm of His mighty, loving hand. Maybe 2012 will be the year...

My Sister, My Friend

2011-12-15T05:18:00.000-08:00

"One's sister is part of one's essential self, an eternal presence of one's heart, soul and memory." Susan Cabill

One of the greatest blessings of our second adoption journey has been sharing the experience with one of my very favorite people in the world: my little sister. I cannot begin to catalog the number of hours that we have spent on the phone over the last two years - comparing notes, asking questions, excitedly talking about which family just got their referral on our agency's waitlist. It has definitely strengthened what was already a powerful bond forged through our childhood.

Erica was born when I was 18 months old, and apparently, I wasn't too keen on the new intruder at first! I'm told that I attempted to bite her nose off at one point, although I do not remember any such behavior at all. From my earliest memories though, Erica was always there - someone to play with, share a room with, and most importantly to boss around! She put up with a lot from me, and we have some old recordings to prove it. We shared our clothes and our toys, read books out loud together for hours on end, and made up lots of silly games. We've had many of the same interests and hobbies for as far back as I can remember, and there is a very goofy side to our personalities that you probably won't see unless you happen to be around us when we're together.

Erica lived with David and me for a year and a half while she was in college, and I loved having her close. We live 3 hours away from my family, and it was so special to have one of them near for a time. I have loved watching her mature into a Godly wife and mother over the last 12 years, and it is amazing to be sharing with her the beauty and the pain of being an adoptive mother. It has been incredibly affirming to see God speak to her in much the same way that He has spoken to me, and I have watched in awe at the way that she has changed and grown spiritually during her adoption journey of the last two years. It is such a blessing to be able to ask her questions about the adoption process and to know that she'll have the answers, to have the shared experience of visiting Ethiopia, and to talk to her about what I'm feeling in regards to Y's birthmom and to KNOW that she understands perfectly.

Today, I want to wish her a very happy 35th Birthday! Erica, I can't begin to tell you what an encouragement you are. You are one of God's greatest gifts in my life, and I can't wait to see how He leads your life through this next year!

All About Me (as told by Mr. Y)

2011-12-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

We've been making a book about Yikealo as part of his Language Arts class. One day he was supposed to tell me all about himself. This is what he said:

I like being with my Mom and Dad.
I like to wear costumes.
I like to chase the kitties.
I like to play with toys.
My name is Yikealo, and it means "God is able."
I do not like being sick.
My favorite food is macaroni & cheese and pizza.
My favorite colors are blue, lava color, and fire color.
I like getting surprises.
I am five years old.

Then he was supposed to draw a picture of his family. Here we are, in all of our glory.

(Why do I look like some sort of horrific alien centipede anyway?)

When asked to say one sentence about the other members in his family, he responded, "My Dad likes to sleep a lot and play a lot with me. My Mom is always excited about how good her little boy is being." Hmmm...he was certainly accurate about his Daddy, but not so much about his Mama!

On another day, I prompted him with sentence starters, and this is how he answered:

If I had 3 wishes I would wish for a brother or sister, I would wish for more time to play with Dad and Mom, and I would wish to go to Disney World with my family.
The most fun I ever had was getting wet at "Neraggrer Falls!"
My favorite meal is spaghetti and Gogurts. (Not sure why his favorite foods aren't part of his favorite meal, but hey, I guess you're allowed to change your mind when you're 5!)
One thing I do well is learning to read.
One thing I want to get better at is counting.
It makes me angry when Quinn hits me. (Suz, he DID have to think long and hard about this one!)
Something I would like to see is a lion that can talk and spit fire. (?!)
The happiest day of my life is when Dad doesn't have to go to work. (Awwww!)

On another day, we were supposed to read the old days-of-the-week poem and discuss how it related to Yikealo.
Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child that is born on the Sabbath day,
Is blythe and bonny and good and gay.

Of course, we do not know the day of the week on which Yikealo was born, so we just had a fun discussion about which of the attributes fit him the best.

Y: "I think that Wednesday might be right because I was sad when I was a little boy and didn't have a dad. Then, after you adopted me, I was sad when Daddy had to go to work."
Me: "Are you sad now?"
Y: "No."
Me: "So which other day might be a good choice?"
Y: "Thursday, because I had to travel all the way around the earth to get here!"
Me: "You're right...that is a good one. Any others?"
Y: "Well, you said that I'm giving, and I like to share sometimes, so maybe Friday?"
Me: "I do think that Friday would be an excellent choice for you, because you are one of the most loving people that I know, and you do share very well most of the time."

I love learning more about how my little guy sees himself, and I love that so much of his identity is wrapped up in having a family.

Entertaining Comments from the Boy

2011-11-30T11:03:00.000-08:00

Yikealo, as always, has been full of wisdom lately. Here are a few of his most recent tidbits for you to enjoy:

"Mom, were you alive when Baby Jesus was in the manger?"
"If I was wearing my Spiderman costume, who would be faster - me or a cheetah?"
"Do turtles like to eat eggs like we do - I mean, all cooked up - or do they only like them plain and not crushed?" When I asked what made him think that turtles liked eggs in the first place, he replied, "Because EVERYBODY likes eggs!"
"When we get to heaven, will snakes like me?"
"If Mimi was here, would she have to help me make my bed?" (Just checking, apparently, that the division of labor would be fair if other children were in the house.)
When asked why in the world he needed to use QUITE so much lather for his bath this morning, he informed me that he was trying to turn himself into a snowman. Hmmm...I think someone is getting a bit desperate for snow.
While kissing my hand, "My ma'am, would it honor you to kiss me and be my wife?"
To David and me, "You are not allowed to kiss unless you feel sick or unless your neck hurts or your head hurts. Otherwise, no kissing each other!" (We do NOT follow his kissing rules, by the way!)
"When we get to Heaven, will God teach us how to walk on water?"
My parents have an old Bugs Bunny book that Yikealo finds extremely funny. He giggles hysterically at Elmer Fudd's speech impediment every time we read the book. Two days ago, while I was cooking supper, Y was sitting at the table putting a puzzle together...while carrying on a lengthy conversation with Elmer Fudd...in which Y was trying diligently to teach the imaginary little bald guy how to say "rrrabbits" instead of "wabbits." From the sound of things, the boy wasn't very successful!

Our waitlist numbers for the month of November didn't change much...we are still at #34 for a girl, and we actually moved back one space to #25 for a boy. On Sunday in church, Yikealo spent most of the afternoon service constructing buildings from magnetic blocks and songbooks. He informed me that one building was a church in "Ee-THO-pia" and the other was a church in America. He then folded up small pieces of paper into thin strips on which he drew faces - one for David, one for himself and one for me - and placed all of his "stick" figures into the America church. A fourth wadded up piece of paper became "my new brother or sister" and was placed into the Ethiopia church. Next, he made a paper airplane, placed the three figures representing us onto it, and flew us all over to "Ee-THO-pia", where we met our new family member and brought him/her home to the church in America. I think that someone is very ready to meet his new sibling! From the looks of things, though, he'll have a bit of a wait yet...

Fun Holiday Weekend

2011-11-28T06:10:00.000-08:00

Well, we're coming off of a crazy-full, fun couple of days, so getting back into the swing of school this morning should be interesting! Mr. Y always misses his Daddy so much after a weekend, and after four days of quality Daddy time, I'm sure that the behavior will be slightly worse than normal today.

On Thursday, following our Thanksgiving service at church, we spent the day with David's family, eating, talking, playing lots of games, and just generally having a wonderful time together. I love this family!

We had the chance to spend some quality moments with our newest family member: little Rhett, our first great-nephew. I'm not really old enough to be a great-aunt yet, am I?!

Yikealo got to go home with Uncle James and Aunt Susan that evening and spend the night with all of his little boy cousins, which has to be toward the top of his list of fun things to do.

On Friday morning, the whole family headed over to James and Susan's for our annual Christmas cookie baking day. We were there from 9 in the morning until about midnight, baking cookies, eating way too much, putting together puzzles, ordering Christmas cards, and playing lots of games. Let me tell you, when David gets together with his brothers, and everyone is starting to get a bit slap-happy from the late hours, things get a bit silly! We were sort of laughing ourselves sick by the end of the evening.

On Saturday morning, we drove out to Chris and Erica's house to meet their two newest family members. Yikealo was SO excited to meet his new cousins from "Ee-THO-pia."

Jalen and Jordan seem to be doing really well so far, and it was great to be able to spend a little time with them. The only small snag was when Jordan at one point confused me for Erica. Erica and I had just been discussing whether we looked too much alike to be confusing for the boys, and a few minutes later, Jordan tugged on my skirt and demanded, "Amama...PLAY!" Chris and I corrected him and pointed out that Erica was "Amama", and then he looked slightly bewildered as he glanced between the two of us. I guess that answered our questions pretty clearly!

The kids all spent quite a bit of time playing outside together on the swing set in the back yard. The crazy little boys kept trying to go down the slide while standing. At one point, after Chris had told Jalen "aydelem" (no) several times, the ornery little guy ended up in a time-out for a bit. Jordan immediately went to get his own time-out chair out of the playhouse so that he could sit beside his brother...so cute!

Yesterday after church, we started decorating the house for Christmas...I love this time of year! It's even supposed to start snowing this week!

Processing...

2011-11-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

First, as I'm sure most of you have heard by now, Chris and Erica's beautiful twin boys, Jalen Opiyew and Jordan Uchan are home from Ethiopia!

We even got to talk to them a little bit on Skype this morning. Yikealo was SO excited to see his new cousins - he has been praying faithfully for them every night since we first heard their names back in June. J and J were mostly interested in eating their "muz" (bananas) and seeing our "Meow" when David held a rather disgruntled Frankie up to the webcam, but it was so fun for us to hear their raspy little voices and see them moving around. Please continue to pray for their adjustment to their new life. They have had so many changes in such a short time, and it is going to take a long time for them to fully process everything.

I've been processing a lot too. Last Saturday, David and I helped with a food distribution project at our county fairgrounds. Every month a local Christian hope center combines with a regional food bank to distribute free groceries and services to families who fall within 200% of the poverty level. This was our first time helping, but we definitely plan on being involved in the future. The two of us were taking families through the food line, piling their groceries in a wagon, and hauling everything to their vehicles, where we helped load the food. In approximately 3 1/2 hours, we helped to distribute 30,000 pounds of food to 597 households (representing over 1800 people), many of whom waited in the cold for over 3 hours. It was heartbreaking and so good for me to see. I mean, this is my fairly prosperous midwestern county! Yes, they got a very nice amount of food, but as a friend of mine said, "I really don't think I would ever wait this long just to get this amount of groceries." I definitely wouldn't...but then, I've never known that kind of need, either. Most of the people were so grateful: we received lots of hugs and so many fervent "thank yous" and "God bless yous." One grandma came through with three young grandchildren. They were incredibly well behaved and had so much fun helping to push the wagon. Several times, they turned wide eyes up to their grandma and asked, "Is all of this really for US?" It made me cry. It's made me more thoughtful and more grateful this week. I've been praying for lots of new faces: Mary and Barbara and Rosaleen and so many others. I've been asking myself new versions of the same questions that I've been asking for the last couple of years since we returned from our own journey to Ethiopia: why have I been blessed with so much, and what does that mean as far as my responsiblity? What changes can I continue to make in my own life so that others don't suffer as much need? Why was I born into a wonderful nuclear family and taught the truth of the Gospel for as far back as I can remember, while so many others are trapped in Satan's morass of lies and broken homes and poverty?How can I be more effective in bringing light into the darkness?

"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required; and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more." Luke 12:48

Huge Prayer Request

2011-11-11T04:35:00.000-08:00

Today is the day that Chris and Erica leave for Ethiopia to bring home their sons! We are so excited for them, and we can't wait to meet our newest nephews, Jalen and Jordan, even though it may be quite a while yet before we get that pleasure. They'll arrive home next Thursday, but Chris and Erica will probably be "cocooning" with them for some time...keeping the boys' overwhelming new world as small as possible for as long as it takes J & J to realize that they belong to a family again, that their needs are being met, and that these new people aren't going anywhere.

Please pray for them...for safe travels, for Chris and Erica as they move from parenting 4 children to parenting 6, for Shana, Adrian, Ashton, and Malia as they adjust to 2 new siblings who will need LOTS of attention, and especially for Jordan and Jalen. Their whole world is about to be turned upside down once again as they leave their home, their friends, their country and their continent behind. They are coming to a strange place where everything will feel unfamiliar: few people will look like them, the smells and sounds will be foreign, and everyone will speak a language that they can't understand. They will be grieving so many losses, and they will be frightened. Sure, they liked these nice white people when they visited several months ago, but then they went away for such a long time. When is that going to happen again? What happened to their Mama, with whom they lived for the first several years of life? She said goodbye to them at the same time that they met the new people...did the new ones make her go away? What about that scary looking animal in the yard...the one called a dog? Is it dangerous like the hyenas in Ethiopia? Will it try to eat them?

You get the point...they need our prayers. They will need healing, but our God is a great healer. We have seen His hand moving all of the pieces together over the last two years, and yes, the story is sad, but it is also magnificent. We can all be part of the solution by lifting this precious family up to the Lord in prayer. There is great power in the prayers of His people.

"...always labouring fervently for you in prayers, that ye may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God..." Colossians 4:12

The Questions of a Little Boy

2011-11-09T12:41:00.000-08:00

Here is a sampling of the questions from our resident 5-year-old over the last couple of weeks:

"What does 'RAHR' mean in tiger?"
"Can dinosaurs that have wings fly faster than a racecar can drive?"
"Mom, is a truck bigger than 5 people standing on their heads?"
"When we get to heaven is God going to give all of us Jesus costumes?"
When I told him that his cousin Zavier had broken his clavicle and had to wear a sling for awhile, Y interpreted it this way for David: "Dad, do you know who broke his arm and has to wear a pistol?"
"Why do forks always have to be bigger than spoons?"
Near my parents' home, there are many new windmills going up, which prompted this question: "Mom, do these windshields help our lights or only these peoples' lights?" When I told him that most of the power being generated by the windmills was going to New York, he was quite excited..."So it goes to Big Bird?!?!"
While watching a video about China, "Mom, does this get to count as school because I'm learning about Chanada?" (Yeah, we're still not doing so well in history!)
"Mom, is Lion King only a veggie tale?" (I'm pretty sure he meant fairy tale!)

There are definitely times when the lack of vocabulary can cause some pretty interesting conversations. I had recently shared various stories about our trips to Michigan with Yikealo, and he decided that he needed some clarification from his Uncle Seth:
Y: "Seth, when you were in Michigan on those round things...Mom, what are those called again?"
Me: "Do you mean when he was roller-blading?"
Y: "Yeah...when you were doing that, did a fish bite your butt?"
Seth: (looking utterly confused) "Did a fish bite my butt while I was roller-blading?"
Y: "Yeah."
Seth: "No...I can't say that it did."
Y: "Well, did you get any goosebumps?"
Me: (with slowly dawning comprehension) "Oh, Seth, I'll bet he's talking about the time that you and I swam across the lake on the inner tubes. He didn't mean roller blades at all! Yikealo, are you talking about the big inner tubes that we had in the water?"
Y: "Yeah, and you and Seth were swimming in them. Did any fishes bite you?"
Seth: (laughing) "I don't remember being bitten by any fish, but that does make a lot more sense now!"

You just never know what Mr. Y will come up with next!

In the Doldrums

2011-10-31T13:59:00.000-07:00

We've definitely hit the doldrums - no, not a place of depression, as the expression has come to mean in our modern-day language, but rather something like that stagnant place near the equator that was dreaded by sailors on the ships of a few centuries ago. The place that was known for no winds, no movement, and the occasional sudden squalls. The place where you could be stuck for days or weeks, with no real way to leave. The place where you could go crazy with boredom or illusion or where you could be sucked into crippling laziness. That's a bit how this adoption feels at this point. Our numbers for the month of October were #34 for a girl and #24 for a boy...not a whole lot of movement to the waitlists lately. It doesn't seem real to me any longer. I'm perfectly happy with my little family of three, we're in this quiet place with no winds, and the smallest things are starting to make me question my readiness for parenting another child. We've lost the momentum of the paper-pushing days of the homestudy and the dossier, and we're almost up to one year on the waitlist. This isn't ever really going to happen, right?

Yikealo is still actively praying for and asking about his "new little boy or girl." The other day in Social Studies we were discussing the difference between needs and wants. He was supposed to draw a picture of something that was a need and somethings that was a want. Under "Need" he drew a glass of water. Under "Want" he drew a smiling stick figure. I asked him if it was supposed to be a Lego guy. (He's recently discovered Legos and had just informed me that morning that he wanted to get some "guys" for his small collection.) He looked at me like I was a crazy person. "No, of course not!" he replied, "It's our new little boy or girl!" Oh yeah...I'd forgotten again.

It's a strange place to be at times: yes, I pray for my future child, and yes, there is a part of me that wants to "move on already." The deeper part of myself, however, realizes that in order for me to receive a referral, a child must meet shocking and severe tragedy first. I don't want that to happen. While I adore Yikealo more than I can say, and I am SO very thankful that God brought him to my life, I do not begrudge his first Mother one single moment that she had with him...not one. I'm so thankful that he had that time with her. It's the same way now. If my next child is being loved and cared for by his/her family right now...please, Lord, don't take that away from them just yet. Sure, if they're already languishing in an orphanage somewhere, let's hurry this whole process along, but if not...

These thoughts are hard, and yet they always bring me back to the same place of thankfulness for God's sovreignty. I'm so glad that I'm not the one in charge. I'm so relieved that He knows the future, that as we read in church yesterday afternoon, "...I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil..." He knows where this ship is going, and I do not. I can't control the winds, the storms, the doldrums, but He can. My job for now is to sit back and allow Him to take the rudder.

"From where I'm standing, Lord,
It's so hard for me to see
Where this is going,
And where You're leading me.
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control...

When I'm lost in the mystery,
To You my future is a memory,
Cause You're already there.
You're already there,
Standing at the end of my life,
Waiting on the other side,
And You're already there."
Casting Crowns

"Neraggrer" Falls

2011-10-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

We recently returned from one of the most perfect little get-a-ways that we've ever taken. David's vacation year is centered around his date-of-hire at his company, so it rolls over in mid-October. There is a "use it or lose it" policy, and due to our adoption, we had been hoarding vacation days all year until we knew for certain that we wouldn't need them for Ethiopia. We started using them up at the end of July, but as we moved into the fall, we still had 2 days left. David came up with the brilliant idea of heading to the Niagara Falls/Buffalo area for a long weekend. We were able to use credit card points for our hotel and for restaurants, so we were also able to do this little trip on the cheap!

We left on a Friday morning and stopped for several hours at a great outlet mall in Grove City, PA, where we managed to put a big dent in our Christmas shopping. Yikealo was less than thrilled about this part, but he did pick out a keen racoon-head hat at The Children's Place, which he then refused to take off for most of the weekend. All kinds of people gravitate toward this kid already...you should have seen what the addition of the raccoon hat did! This child has some serious magnetism.

The drive was beautiful. We were blessed to be travelling during peak leaf season, and everything was bright, colorful and gorgeous - even in the rain!

On Saturday, we headed up to see Niagara Falls...or "Neraggrer Falls" as Yikealo called it. It's always so jarring, somehow, to be at an American landmark (read: tourist area) and to realize that almost NO ONE around speaks English! We are pretty certain that most of the continent of Asia had relocated to up-state New York for the weekend. After all, it makes perfect sense that travelers to the US would be visiting one of the beautiful natural landmarks that our country features. We walked around for awhile down by the American Falls

and then took a ride on the Maid of the Mist. That was pretty incredible! We got soaked, of course, but it was well worth it to see that pounding water so close. David remarked at one point, as we looked up at Horseshoe Falls, "I wonder if this is a tiny taste of what it looked like when God opened up the "fountains of the deep" during the Great Flood?"

Following Maid of the Mist, we caught an Imax film about some of the people who have gone over the Falls, and then headed back toward our hotel for dinner and some swimming before bedtime.

On Sunday, we headed back up to the Falls for some more sightseeing. We checked out an aquarium and walked up to the "Cave of the Winds." The actual Cave of the Winds was buried in landslides a number of years ago, but the current attraction is a series of wooden walkways that take you up to within 10 feet of the Bridal Veil Falls. When you are standing at the top on the "Hurricane Deck" it really does feel like you are caught in a crazy tropical storm of sorts...albeit a very COLD one! The following picture is not zoomed in at all:

Yikealo absolutely LOVED the Cave of the Winds walk. He splashed and stomped and shouted and got completely drenched. I loved it too...it is always so exhilarating to see a tiny example of God's majestic power so close! I couldn't help but sing "How Great Thou Art" as we waited in the tunnel to go back up to ground level.

That evening, we went to see the musical of Lion King. We had really hoped to keep this activity a complete surprise from Mr. Y. He adores the music from this production, and has most of the soundtrack memorized, including the African words. We had no idea how we would be able to keep it a surprise until the famous opening notes began, but things worked out perfectly! We got stuck in traffic trying to find parking, had to race through the rain to try to find the theater, and by the time we picked up our tickets and found our seats, we really only had 5 minutes to spare. In our rush through the lobby, Y completely missed all of the posters with the huge Lion's head on them. He sat there looking around expectantly, while David teased him with helpful comments like, "Did you notice that there aren't any other kids here, Yikealo? That probably means that this won't be any fun for little people." Yikealo looked around and gave a little snort, "Dad, there are LOTS of kids here!"

I wish that I could have taken a picture of his face when Rafiki sang the opening note from behind the stage curtain. He recognized it immediately, and sat riveted through the next 2 and a half hours. We couldn't have planned the whole thing any more perfectly! Needless to say, we've been hearing Y's renditions of the songs ever since!

There is one song called "Shadowlands" where Nala sings about the pain of leaving the only home that she's ever known, while promising to always remember her people. I've heard the song many times, but this time, it brought me to tears, as I thought of my two little nephews waiting for their new family in Ethiopia. They can really have no idea what is going to happening to them within the next few weeks. "The river's dry/The ground has broken/So I must go/Now I must go/And where the journey may lead me/Let your prayers be my guide/I cannot stay here, my family/But I'll remember my pride..."

On Monday morning, we packed up and then left for one more day at the Falls. Although it was windy, it was also our first sunny day there. We walked over the bridge to the Canadian side, so Mr. Y had the chance to use his passport and visit another country. It was really the perfect complement to our History lessons of late.

We spent several hours walking around and taking photos of the glorious falls. We saw several beautiful rainbows, and enjoyed our time in Canada very much.

Getting back through to the American side was another matter, however. We had to pay 50 cents apiece to move through some turnstyles, and let's just say that they were not very cooperative with me! The first time, the machine ate my money without opening, and the second time, the turnstyle slammed shut and refused to turn again with one of my legs through and one of them not...yeah...awkward! I have some fairly massive bruises from the wretched thing, but I'm sure that the French guys standing behind us were highly amused!

After going back to the American side (finally!) we spent some time walking around Goat Island and the Three Sisters Islands by the Canadian rapids. It was a lovely way to end our time there, and it was a wonderful place to just spend a few extra moments in worship of the One who created it all.

Within about 10 minutes of leaving for home, I turned around to see this in the backseat:

Yeah, I think that a certain someone was just a little exhausted after all the fun! Farewell, vacation, for another year. We HOPE that David's recently refilled vacation time will be used for a couple of trips to Ethiopia before next October!

Humbled

2011-10-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was a bad day. Yikealo has been a bit sick with croup again, and the breathing treatments required to loosen his horrid cough have the unfortunate effect of making him crazy, out-of-control hyper. He completely loses any ability to focus or listen to anything that I say, and let's just say that I don't deal well with that. Add in the fact that we took a great little family getaway to Niagara Falls last weekend (another story for another post) that left us a few lessons behind in our school plans, and along with my control-freak, we-must-catch-up personality, we had a bit of a mess on our hands.

I held things together rather well, I must say, through the first half of the day, in the midst of some truly horrendous, uncharacteristic behavior from the boy. We had done all of our lessons but one, and by late afternoon, the majority of the hyperactivity had worn off. Okay...time to tackle the history lesson. We've been studying the various continents, with the last month or so being centered around Europe, and this was the final review. Yikealo has virtually no interest in the subject, and after 8 lessons on Europe, still cannot consistently name which continent we've been discussing. Now, I do feel that it's a bit lofty to think that a Kindergarten student should be able to place 8 different European countries on a map, along with naming them, recognizing several major landmarks in each one, and knowing what the flag for each country looks like. Seriously? Before starting this unit with him, I couldn't have done that...certainly not the flag recognition...and I'm 36! Why is this necessary for a 5 year old? On the other hand, considering that we've talked about it on at least 12 different days, shouldn't he be able to say the word "Spain?" Keep in mind that we're talking about an extremely bright child who is considerably ahead of his age group in both reading and math skills. He has memorized a couple of chapters in the Bible, and he can quote verbatim almost the entire soundtrack from the Broadway production of Lion King. This is what Wednesday's lesson sounded like, however:

Me: "Yikealo, this is the map of the continent of Europe. Can you show me where Spain is on the map of Europe?" (He points to the correct place.) "Great job! Now, what is the name of this country?" (I point to Spain again.)
Y: (blank stare) "Uhhhhh....I don't know."
Me: "It's called Spain. I want you to point to it and say, 'This is Spain.'"
Y: "This is Spain."
Me: "Good job! Now, what is it called again?"
Y: "Ummm....France?"

After about 15 minutes of this, I decided that we both needed a break. We'd come back to it after supper, and surely things would be better, right? An hour later, after supper, we tackled it again. It didn't go any more smoothly than it had earlier, and after about 45 minutes, I completely lost my temper. "WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING THIS? I'VE JUST TOLD YOU THE ANSWER! THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT, AND YOU ARE A SMART KID!" That didn't help at all, of course. Yikealo dissolved into tears, and I stomped away from the kitchen for a few seconds. Immediately, verses like "Love is patient, love is kind...love never fails" started running through my head, and I went back to grudgingly apologize for yelling. Yikealo snuggled up against me, wiped his tears away, and asked in a small voice, "Mama, is it your turn to lay down with me tonight?" My voice still hardened in slowly subsiding anger, I asked, "Why? Do you want it to be?" I was positive that he'd say, "No...I want it to be Daddy's turn." Instead, he wrapped his arms tighter around me, and replied, "Yeah, because I just need some time with you."

I started sobbing, and he just held on tightly and whispered, "I love you, Mama." Oh my...I had just behaved so badly, screaming like a banshee , taking out my frustration in a harsh, completely inappropriate way, and Yikealo just wanted to be with me. I can't possibly live up to or deserve that kind of unconditional, surrendered love. But then, that's the thing about love, isn't it? We don't ever deserve it, do we? Certainly not the love that God gives...it is always a freely given, completely undeserved gift. It reaches inside of our cold, angry, dead hearts and changes us, transforming not only our lives, but the lives of the people around us. I stammered out another apology (a real one this time) and asked for forgiveness. Y leaned back, looked at my red, swollen eyes, and replied, "Of course I forgive you."

Later that night, as he snuggled up against me in bed, he whispered, "Mama, you're just the prettiest girl in the whole world. I just love you so much." I said that I loved him too. He smiled, closed his eyes, and said, "Now sleep tight, my Hunkin-Pun," as he patted my back. (I have sometimes called him my "Punkin-Hon", and now he often refers to us as his "Hunkin-Puns.") When I carried him over to his own bed and tucked him in, he whispered again, "I sure do love you." I spent some extra time just praying over him, thanking God for the enormous blessing that He gave us when He placed this child in our lives. We have learned so many life-lessons just through watching the way that Y loves and forgives, and I need those lessons so badly. Learning patience doesn't come easy for me, but I know that it is worth it!

Not Sure About These Teaching Methods...

2011-10-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

A few moments ago, I discovered Y conducting "school" in the living room with his rescue hero guys. The "teacher" was dressed as Superman, and was reading Calvin and Hobbes to his students, as well as singing various bits from Lion King. He had written out a class list, which included such interesting monikers as Wvur, Poiloldad, Iol, Blov and Voo. He did inform all of them that they needed to "stop goofing around and pay attention"...hmmm....sounds familiar, somehow!

In all seriousness, we are loving the whole homeschooling thing thus far. I have enjoyed the time with my little guy, and it has been so much fun to watch him explore new things. I know that it's cliche', but I love the freedom that having "the world as our classroom" brings! A few weeks ago, we were at Mom's for the weekend, and Y's cousin Zavier enjoyed doing a couple of lessons with us.

Yesterday, our daily lessons included a trip to the Cleveland Zoo with Susan and Quinn.

We've been studying the various continents in Y's history course, so it was really fun for him to see things like an example of the Great Barrier Reef, and the South American Rain Forest.

As well as the lions, tigers and bears, of course!

A few Sundays ago, Y spent most of one service writing various letters on several small sheets of paper. When he was finished, he handed it to me, and told me that he'd been "blogging" and he had a "new post" that I needed to read. See if you can get more out of it than I managed to...

And finally, we heard the best news earlier this morning: my sister's family has passed court in Ethiopia!! Now their file will be forwarded to the US Embassy in Addis Ababa, and they will wait for a visa appointment to be scheduled. Please pray that everything will move quickly...we all really want these two little guys to come home soon!

Mr. Contrary

2011-09-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

I blame it all on my mother. Nearly 2 years ago while visiting them for a weekend, Mr. Y developed a very bad case of Croup and needed to be taken to the emergency room. After a couple of treatments of Albuterol, his breathing became very loose and rattled, but we could not get him to cough for us...until my Mom started to say, "Don't you DARE cough! I do NOT want to hear any coughing from you! Only Grammy is allowed to cough!" It worked like a charm, and before long, Y was coughing away and giggling.

It's probably not the best way to parent, but we've used the whole "reverse psychology" thing ever since...not on big, important issues of course, but on the little things - like getting him to pick up toys neatly or getting him to smile when we're trying to take a picture. For example, if we don't say anything, all of the pictures that we take of him would look like this:

or this:

If, however, we say, "Yikealo, don't you DARE smile, or you will probably break my camera!" we get something more like this:

or this:

(Notice that it doesn't work so well if you're also trying to take a photo of a more compliant child, who will take you completely seriously if you tell her not to smile!)

I'm not sure why I had never thought to use it on food. Yikealo can be the POKIEST eater at times...usually when the meal involves some type of meat. Sometimes he'll eat everything just fine, but most of the time, he will take about two bites of chicken or beef and it can take nearly a half hour to chew each bite. AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! I just do NOT have the patience to sit with him at the table for that long, so we have rarely finished a meal together. David and I finish eating and then get up from the table to go do something else, while Y sits there for another hour rearranging food on his plate and getting up to come tell us something about every 2 minutes. Well, my Mom just came up with the perfect solution. We were visiting them last weekend, and she had made roast beef with gravy, mashed potatoes, and corn for supper. I gave Y a miniscule piece of beef and cut it into microscopic pieces. It was very tender and easy to chew, but I knew that he'd take his typical 1/2 hour to chew a bite. It turns out that I was wrong! He was sitting beside my Mom, who started to tell him things like, "Don't you dare show me an empty mouth! I can't stand to see empty mouths at the table! Here, quick, let's get another bite in there!" Before we knew it, Y was shoveling in the food and swallowing in record time, just so he could show Grammy his empty mouth and watch her pretend to shudder in revulsion. The best part? It works at home too! On Wednesday evening we had chicken breasts and baby carrots for supper. Y was fussing about the menu until I tried Mom's little routine with him: "Yikealo, don't you dare show me your empty mouth! Do you know what I hate even more than an empty mouth? I HATE to see an empty plate! Please do NOT show me your plate when it's all empty!" I have never seen him eat chicken so fast. Yes, it's slightly annoying to have to pretend scream in terror at his empty mouth every minute or so, but it's not nearly as annoying as constantly begging him to chew and swallow for an hour! Now at the beginning of a meal he asks, "Can we please play the 'empty mouth' game?"

Now, onto our numbers for the last 2 months! This is really showing what a bad blogger I have become, since I haven't updated our waitlist numbers since July. In August we were at #40 for a girl and #29 for a boy.

In September we were at #37 for a girl and #27 for a boy.

And what's with Spiderman, you ask? Well, on our vacation to Michigan a few weeks ago, a discount store in the little town where our cottage is located had just received a large shipment of Halloween costumes. They were all under $10, so we invested in Superman and Spiderman costumes for Mr. Y.

(In this photo, his cousin Ashton is helping him fight crime.)

He has worn a costume pretty much every day since...he just alternates between Buzz and one of the two superheros. Sometimes he wears all three within one day's time.

Don't worry though...he isn't too much of a tough guy yet. He still has to take lots of time out for Daddy worship. In Michigan, he followed David around everywhere, singing a little ditty that went something like this: "Superman is on the job! He is working with his Dad!" It's good to know that some things stay the same, no matter who he is pretending to be...

We're Still Here...

2011-09-21T05:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, I know that I'm woefully behind in keeping up with this blog, and I promise that updates of our exciting life (ha ha!) will be coming soon! After all, this is one way that I record memories for myself nowadays. However, we've been busy getting into the swing of school lately, as well as going on vacation, so maybe I can be excused from the lack of posts, right?

As a start back into posting, I thought I'd share one brief tidbit from this morning...this should prove to all of you that some things haven't changed at all. A few moments ago I heard some unearthly howling coming from Frankie in the living room. I mean, these were sounds that she only makes when she sees my mother (Frankie HATES my mom, who teases her unmercifully.) I walked out to investigate and saw this:

Yes, the boy pretending to attack the cat with dual light-saber action, complete with special sound effects. He wasn't coming all that close to her (he knows better), but she was NOT impressed with the assault on her kingdom. She was giving him her "if you come any closer I will personally bite your head off" look. (She is sometimes convinced that she is a tiger in her other life.)

Ah yes...life with a five-year-old boy...

Imagination

2011-08-20T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yikealo likes nothing better than playing dress-up. He is constantly forming costumes out of anything that he can find, so we've recently suggested that he spend some of his fun money on some dress-up clothing. His first purchase was a pirate costume, and he spent a couple of weeks in pirate mode. When his cousin Zavier visited for a few days, I was continually being attacked by two dastardly villains.

However, that was before he discovered the most supreme costume ever invented.

Over the last few months, Mr. Y has become completely and totally infatuated with Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear. He spent some of his hospital money on a Buzz action figure quite some time ago, and this toy has become his favorite playmate. He talks to Buzz, and eats with Buzz, and sleeps with Buzz, and Buzz has to be present for any stories that we read together. But then...he discovered the most awesome thing of all: a Buzz costume! Oh...if I could only begin to describe the intense delight in our house when that precious box arrived in the mail. He put it on at once, and he insists on wearing it at every given opportunity. Seriously, like every single day. We started homeschooling this week, and on at least 3 of the days, I was teaching math or language arts or phonics to a Buzz impersonator. Last week, I was awakened one morning at 6:00 by Buzz leaping onto my bed, shouting something about a space ranger coming to my rescue....ummm....yeah....at 6:00 a.m. I'd rather be rescued from Buzz than by him. I sleepily stammered out something about wanting to snuggle my little boy, not Buzz, to which he replied, "I AM your little boy! I just look like Buzz, because this is a costume!"

A few days later he wanted me to play with him:
Y: "Mom, I am going to be Buzz, and you are going to be Wendy."
Me: "Wendy? Who is Wendy?"
Y: "You know...from Bob the Builder."
Me: "Well, if I am going to be Wendy, then why don't you be Bob?"
Y: "No, I NEED to be Buzz, because I want to be the one who saves the day!"
Me: "Well, then why don't I be Jessie?"
Y: "No, you need to be Wendy, because Jessie is more cooler than Wendy, and you cannot be the one who saves the day...that has to be me."
Great...why do I always have to be the less "cooler" person, anyway?!
(and note the chin curl he insists upon....grrrrrr!)

A few other recent Yikealo-isms:

while waving his hands in a "cease and desist" manner: "We are NOT having this 'confercation'!" (Ummm....I think maybe you mean "conversation"? Although I have to admit that now "confercation" has become part of the household vernacular!)
while listening to a new song in the car: "Mom, George needs to know what kind of song this is." (I guess it's good to know that Buzz hasn't evicted George yet.)
One morning he started whining that I was reading my Bible instead of playing with him. I told him that I would play with him after I was finished, but God's word is very important, and God comes first. He responded immediately: "Why does God always get to be first? He is not the youngest!" (Apparently, in Y's opinion, board game rules should also apply to the Lord.)
At supper, David finished his prayer with something along the lines of: "And please help us to be Your hands and feet here." Yikealo looked up with a rather horrified look on his face and questioned: "FEET HAIR? Why would we wanta be His feet hair?"
As I was snuggling him one night, I said, "You are such a present from God," to which he answered, "For one thing, I am YOUR present, 'cause you 'dopted me on your birthday." Technically, my birthday was the day AFTER our gotcha day, but that's close enough, right?!

Oh yeah, and along the homeschooling topic, what happens when Daddy gets a new I-Phone during the same week that school starts?
An I-Phone upon which both "boys" in the household can spend a ridiculous amount of time playing "Angry Birds" together?

And Daddy also decides that he would like to take over the math lesson for the day?
Well, the shape blocks are used to replicate the "houses" from Angry Birds, of course.

A tiny plastic figure of Buzz becomes the evil pigs hiding inside the "house."

A sling-shot is built from Tinker Toys and a rubber band, and much time is spent shooting down the "houses" with a folded up paper "bird" from every conceivable angle.

Right, because in addition to learning about shapes and sizes, "velocity" and "trajectory" are obviously very important concepts to teach your 5-year old math student.

The Shirt

2011-07-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

Remember this shirt?

Yikealo was wearing it in about half of the referral photos that we received of him in March 2009.

He was also wearing it on June 5th, when our caseworker took lots of photos of Mr. Y with his birthmom.

He was wearing it on June 15th, for his very brief appearance in Kristi Johnson's now famous "Lucy Lane's Gotcha Day" video. (Check out the little curly-top at the 2:43 mark!)

And last, but certainly not least, he was wearing it again on our gotcha day of June 29th, 2009.

It was the defining article of clothing for our son while he was at Hannah's Hope, and he still remembers it quite clearly.

Well, yesterday, Erica received a photo of one of her little guys from another traveling family, and guess who was wearing the EXACT. SAME. SHIRT??

Yep...he's definitely meant to be part of our family! Yikealo just beamed at the photo on our computer screen and said, "They must know that he is my cousin!"

In other news, Chris and Erica learned today that they have their court appointment on August 5th! We've also heard that the courts close for the rainy season on August 6th, and won't open again until sometime in late September. We are praising God that He worked out the details for them to meet their precious sons before the court shutdown!

Laying Low

2011-07-16T08:08:00.000-07:00

My little boy thrives on having a schedule. He has been that way since the very first week that we had him in our home. Before he could understand much English at all, we had learned that he NEEDED to know the plans for the day - it makes him feel safer, more secure and in control. This isn't surprising, considering his background, and many adopted children have this same need. There is less chance of surprises that way, and having us talk him through a day's schedule helps him to know that we're planning to be with him throughout the day.

Normally this works out just great - after all, I'm a bit of a control-freak myself, and I also like having a schedule. However, the month of June was a bit crazy for our family. It started out with our Nursing Home's silent auction and garage sale: I was busy every single day for the first week of June, and Yikealo was shuffled around to various extended family members for parts of most days. For the next two weeks, I was involved with a Genesis-themed VBS that some good friends of ours organized, and I wasn't able to devote the normal amount of Mama-time to my little boy. Following that, Y and I traveled west and stayed with my parents for a week so that he could attend VBS at their church. It was a fun, relaxing time for me, and Yikealo enjoyed his time with his cousin Zavier, but by the end of the week, his safe little world was definitely fraying around the edges. Things had been weird for just too long, he hadn't seen his beloved Daddy in five days, and on top of that, Chris and Erica got their referral that week. All of a sudden, there was lots of talk about Ethiopia and lots of pictures floating around of two scared-looking, dark-skinned little boys. Yikealo began to get nervous, and he regressed in his normally very secure connection with us by about a year and a half. If I left a room while he wasn't paying attention, he panicked that I had left him. He began to bring up memories of his fear when Mihiret left him, and he was by turns very clingy and very distant. He got way too friendly with acquaintances of ours that he doesn't know all that well, and he cried much more easily than normal. Things desperately needed to return to the status quo.

Thankfully, our lives have gotten back to their nice, boring, typical schedules! After being gone for three weekends in a row, this is our second with absolutely no plans. Mr. Y and I have had two weeks of long, sunshiney, stay-at-home days - full of snuggling and reading stories and long walks and playing in the wading pool.

He is back to his normal, happy, self-confident personality. I am so glad that he shares his feelings and fears with us, rather than keeping them bottled up inside. I am so glad that a few days of normalcy returns him to his sunny self. I am so glad that we have made so much progress over the last two years, and that, for the most part, he trusts us.

Oh yeah, and then there's this scary pirate who showed up in our home this week: constantly brandishing his sword and threatening to slice off various body parts of his captured victims. Unfortunately for him, this Mama isn't too frightened by a pirate in Miss Sally socks who diligently practices writing his letters at the kitchen table...

One more thing: our June and July numbers. I was obviously a bit lax in posting them during June, but last month we were at #53 for a girl and #40 for a boy.

There has been a nice amount of movement in the referrals over the last couple of weeks, and for July we are at #46 for a girl and #34 for a boy...although we are already a bit lower than that, as there have been three more referrals just this week!

Two Years Together

2011-06-29T04:49:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today, our lives changed forever. Two years ago today, we held our son and heard his high-pitched little voice for the first time. Two years ago today, I was scared to death, and I had no idea how quickly I would fall head-over-heels, irrevocably in love with Mr. Y.

Here's a video from that morning - the two of us were negotiating trades of his hated raisins for my fruit snacks. At the time, I had absolutely no idea what he was saying - today, I understand most of it.

Today, I am praising God for His good and perfect gifts. I can never thank Him enough for leading us down a completely unexpected path into the world of adoption and parenthood. Through His plans for me I have discovered more of who He is, and I have had needs fulfilled that I never knew had existed before. I love this child more than I could ever possibly express through the weakness of language, and today I am rejoicing in his presence in our lives!

Praising God This Morning!!

2011-06-23T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know that we have two new nephews on the way...Chris and Erica received a referral yesterday of twin boys - 2 1/2 years old. They are precious, darling cute, and apparently on target for their age. The story of the referral is amazing, but I will be letting Erica share that once she's done with piles of paperwork, so keep an eye open for her blog posts at: www.possibilityofmiracles.blogspot.com!

Also, please pray for these little guys and for their birth family. There is so much sadness mixed with the joy in an adoption, and yet my God is the great Healer. We are praising Him for His goodness, and trusting Him to work out the details.

Doc

2011-06-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

In January of 1967, a small-town boy from flyover country shipped out for Vietnam with a company of soldiers comprised wholly of southern California surfers. Flyover country. A term for that part of the United States that falls between the coasts -- between NY and LA. No doubt the surfers from SoCal have many names for those of us backward enough to be born and raised in flyover country. But, in this particular case, in 1967, one of those names was "Doc" .

The differences between the members of this newly commissioned unit went well beyond geography: they expanded to include opposite worldviews and each man's perspective on bearing arms. You see, Doc was a non-combatant and was committed to doing everything in his power to preserve life. Others in the company had no such qualms and, in fact, had a highly skeptical attitude toward a comrade who didn't 'have their back' as they saw it.

Now Doc wasn't really a physician; at least not by any of the typical standards that can be applied. He had only the skills that a few weeks of medic training can provide. No more. No less. Yet what Doc lacked in medical knowledge he made up for with love and concern for those who relied upon him for help. In this sense, he truly was a physician.

Through the first six months of their deployment in Vietnam these young men slept together, patrolled together, fought together, bled together, and forged a bond that those of us who have never served can never understand. They learned to trust each other and, in Doc's case, they learned that whether or not a medic carried a weapon had no bearing on his ability to perform his duty and contribute to the unit. Through these shared experiences they became not just a group of men, not just any company, but they became Charlie Company.

That's what made June 19, 1967 so hard.

As part of Operation Concordia I, Charlie Company was ordered into battle on June the 19th. By noon, Charlie Company and the rest of their Battalion were involved in a fierce fire-fight with enemy forces that were not only superior in number but which also held better positions and the element of surprise. Through the day, over forty American soldiers were killed and over 150 wounded and, in the middle of it all, was Doc.

Early in the fighting several of the other medics were either killed or wounded. Further, Alpha Company had walked into a trap and many of their casualties were in the open and still under fire. I do not have a clear understanding of the details of this day. I know that many bronze and silver stars were awarded for the efforts made to rescue those who were ambushed. I know that many died trying to save their comrades. I know that Doc and several other men were able to rescue a handful of wounded soldiers and load them onto a helicopter -- only to have that helicopter shot down, killing some on board and nearly crashing onto the rescuers (see details). What I know is that there was a small part of Doc that died that day too, and left him wondering what he could have done better; what he could have done more.

And I also know that over 35 years later, an officer who was on the field that day looked me in the eyes and said "I do not know a braver man than your father."

You see, Doc is my dad. And on this Fathers Day -- June the 19th -- 44 years after Operation Concordia, I cannot be with him. But I know about June the 19th, and I know about my dad, and I know that many of you who read this blog will see him in church. And I know that Doc wouldn't want a big fuss made over him, so don't make a big fuss. But if you get the chance, just tell him "Thanks, Doc." (see Doc)

I cannot write this post without also mentioning dad's cousin, Denny Nieman. Denny was part of Alpha Company and was wounded on May 15th. As a result of his injury he was shipped home. On June the 19th many -- over half I think -- of the men Denny served with were either killed or wounded. Both Denny and Doc need your prayers this Fathers Day as they remember things that nobody should have to remember and grieve for losses that no one should have to suffer.

What Do I Say?

2011-06-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

I just finished one of the most difficult things that I do in a year's time: writing a letter to Yikealo's birthmom. What can I possibly say to her that can really let her know how wonderfully he is doing? Do the tidbits that we share of his life in America actually have any meaning for her? Will she understand what it means when I tell her that he is very gifted athletically or that he is learning to read? Am I rubbing salt into an open wound when I tell her the little ways that he blesses our lives every day, or is it somehow healing to know that he is cared for beyond measure? What would I want to know if I were in her shoes? What will she think of the picture that Yikealo drew for her: three colorful, smiling stick figures standing beside a crudely drawn house, surrounded by sunshine and flowers? The littlest stick figure is holding a lizard on his shoulders - not that she'll have any idea what those particular purple scribbles mean. Will someone tell her that the strange markings sloping down the middle of the page are the English letters of Yikealo's name - scrawled by his little hand? What about all of the photos that I send? Is it too painful to look at all of the beautiful pictures of his little beaming face, or do her hungry eyes stare at them for long minutes - trying to catalog all of the changes since she last saw him?

Then there are just the logistics of the whole situation. Do the letters and photos actually ever reach her hands? Are they translated into her language, and if so, how many meanings were lost in the translation? Does she know anyone who can read it to her? So many hard questions...and I find myself in tears once again: so grateful to her for giving Yikealo life, so changed by her pain and her loss, so prayerful that God will comfort her as only He can.

"Your pain has changed me, your dream inspires, your face a memory, your hope a fire. Your courage asks me what I am made of and what I know of love." (Sara Groves - I Saw What I Saw)

Guess Who's Five?!

2011-06-12T16:10:00.000-07:00

Well, my little guy turned 5 today. He has been so excited to have another birthday, and he informed several girls in church today that they were allowed to give him birthday kisses. I think we're going to have to work on the flirting situation, don't you?

We actually had our own little celebration last weekend when the three of us spent Sunday and Monday at Great Wolf Lodge in Sandusky. Yikealo doesn't need more "stuff", so we thought it would be a great opportunity to spend some quality time together with him. He LOVES to play in the water, so we figured a water park was a good choice of venues. We had told him about it several weeks ago, and he was looking so forward to our time at "Big Fat Wolf" as he called it! We did have a fabulous time, although I will say there's nothing like constantly chasing around a VERY active, VERY fearless, FULL of energy little boy for two days to make you feel OLD!! Climbing over and over to the very top of the building to ride the big slides was definitely more tiring for the parents than for the boy, (pant, pant, pant, gasp, gasp) although it was definitely worth it to hear his squeals of delight while flying around corners in the double tube on the way back down!

This afternoon after church, we had a little birthday party at Jim and Karen's, where we sort of horned in on Uncle Jim's 50th birthday celebration. (Thanks for sharing, Jim!) Here's a picture of the two birthday boys together:

And finally, a couple of Yikealo quotes from the last week:

"Mom, this crayon needs a haircut!" (handing me a crayon that needed some paper torn from the end.)
(while brandishing a foam sword at me) "I am a bad guy, for heaven's sake! Give me your computer and all of your money!"
the "lyrics" to a lovely new song that he sang for David and me: "You are my lunchbox, and you are a cookie. If I eat you, then you will be in my stomach. If you are in my stomach, then your dreams will not come true!" (Isn't that truly beautiful? Now imagine it being sung to an extremely random, meandering "tune.")

I happened to be....ummm....a bit cranky yesterday morning. Yikealo stage whispered in David's ear, "Don't talk to Mama right now. She is getting very nervous, and she might start to yell at you." Nothing like having your bad attitude called out by the little one!

New Milestones and a Few Yikealo-isms

2011-05-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

First of all, before I forget again, our numbers for May were: #53 for a girl and #42 for a boy... which means that we've moved 37 spaces on the girl's list and 21 spaces for a boy since we joined the waitlist in November.

In other news, we've hit some new parenting milestones this month. Last night was Yikealo's pre-school program, and as of Friday, he'll be officially finished with his first year of "school." He loves to learn and has really enjoyed making new friends at pre-school. Hopefully, some of these friendships can last for a lifetime. After all, one of my favorite people in the world became my friend when we were both in the 4-year old Sunday school class together (yes, Lori, I mean you!)

We have also completed his enrollment for Kindergarten next fall. Oh, how I have agonized over this decision: "He will be turning 5 in June - should I start school yet or wait another year? Should I send him to public school or homeschool?" It seems like the current trend is to hold boys back until they are six, but Yikealo is already learning to read, and there's always that niggling reminder that we don't know how old he really is. What if we are able to meet his birthmom when we travel to Ethiopia and we learn that she DOES know how old he is, and he is truly a year older than we've decided? AARRGGHHH!!! (Why do I obsess about these things anyway?) After doing some research and worrying and praying, we've finally made the decision to enroll him in a home-based online public school for next year. So, I will become a "teacher" of sorts this fall, and I'm actually very excited about it. David has felt very strongly about wanting to homeschool for quite some time, and I'm ready to try it.

Which brings me to yet another milestone. My little guy lost his first tooth last night. It has been loosening up over the last several months, and for the last few weeks, he has been constantly wiggling it. David and I are both ridiculously squeamish about loose teeth, we have discovered, much to the delight of Mr. Y. He thinks it's great fun to say, "Hey Mom, look at this!" while reaching into his mouth and moving his tooth all over creation, and then giggling away as I shudder in revulsion. Thankfully, my mom came to visit yesterday for the pre-school program, so the boy had an ally in getting rid of the unwanted tooth. (Grammy is not at all phased by little things like loose teeth...how well I remember her slightly sadistic glee in yanking loose teeth out when we were little!) Yikealo wasn't phased either. That tooth came right out, and he thought that all of the blood was really cool. We think that we may have a doctor in training here - he is fascinated by blood and shots and all things medical.

And, last but not least, a few recent Yikealo-isms for your entertainment:

(while walking toward me with a disgruntled look on his face) "Mom, I was running, and I hit myself in the head with the wall."
(while I was tickling him) "Mom, do you want to stand in the corner? If so, just keep it up!" (I think maybe he's heard this a few times...)
"Daddy's kisses and Lori's kisses smell like flowers, so I will not wipe theirs off, but yours smell like lightbulbs, so I can wipe those ones off!" (I'm not sure what lightbulbs smell like, but hey, apparently any excuse will work for this kid to wipe off my kisses.)
"Mom, this porcupine is DEE-licious!" (while we were eating shredded pork sandwiches.)
"Stop up-tating me!" (said whenever we imitate something that he has said.)
"Mom, I'm trying to get comfy, but I cannot, because my bed is too bony. Can you please take me to your bed?" (He'll try anything for a chance to sleep with us.)
a few weeks ago, he begged to go with David on a quick errand to the grocery store. David acquiesced, on the condition that Mr. Y was not to beg for ANYTHING while there. Yikealo agreed readily, of course. Moments after entering the store, Y stopped beside a display of vanilla wafers (one of his favorites) and said, "Hey, Dad..." David shot him a warning look and said, "Yikealo, you promised not to beg for anything," to which Y quickly replied, "I'm not asking for them for me! I just thought that maybe YOU would like to buy them, since YOU really like these!" Ummm...yeah....can you say "manipulative"??
Several days ago, after listening for quite some time to him barrel around the house beating on the metal lid to his Tinker-Toy box with one of the plastic sticks, I finally lost my temper and said that he was driving me insane, and if he didn't find something quieter to do there would be trouble. A little later, he decided to share a new song with me. It is sung to the tune of "The More We Get Together" and it goes like this: "Sometimes Mama is a grump-grouch, a grump-grouch, a grump-grouch. Sometimes Mama is a grump-grouch with her little boy." As I'm sure that you can imagine, his composing talent didn't do much to improve the mood of his mother...on second thought, maybe it did, because it IS making me laugh now! Anyway, this weekend, while reading through some old Calvin and Hobbes comic books, I discovered a strip where Calvin is stomping through the house beating on a pan with a spoon. His mother finally loses control and shouts, "Will you stop that awful racket? You're driving me crazy!" The final panel shows Calvin in front of his check-marked calendar triumphantly saying, "And a check mark for Tuesday!" David has been calling Yikealo "Calvin" ever since...

Daddy's Boy

2011-05-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I finished up Yikealo's 2-year post adoption report. It needs to arrive to the Ethiopian government by the anniversary of the date that we took custody of our son - June 29th, 2009. In order for it to make it overseas in time, it has to be to our agency by May 29th. We had three reports due in the first year of having him home, but all of these were written by our social worker, so this was my first effort. From now on, these reports are due once a year until he reaches the age of 18, so I'm sure that I will become quite adept at doing them! It is exciting to me that Ethiopia cares so much about the welfare of their children. Most other countries only require reports to be completed for the first year or so.

Anyway, we needed to provide detailed information on how he is doing physically and developmentally, give an example of his daily schedule, and discuss anything pertinent to his life and health: how he sleeps, how he eats, how he interacts with others...you get the point. The final questions were about what we see as his most difficult challenge and his greatest joy since adoption. It took me a little while to come up with the answers, because we have had very few challenges and everything is exciting to Yikealo, but I think I finally arrived at the truth. Yikealo's greatest challenge was probably learning that we were not going to leave him. He has a strong memory of his birth mom leaving him with strangers and not returning for him, and new situations have sometimes brought those fearful memories to the surface. Today, though, he seems to be very secure in our love for him. Several times a day we have a variation of the following conversation:

Me: "Hey, Yikealo, guess what?"
Y: "You love me!"
Me: "I sure do! How did you know that?"
Y: "Because I am your little boy!"
Me: "How did I get so lucky to have YOU for my little boy?"
Y: "Because God told you to get me, because He knew that I needed a Mom and a Dad!"

Which brings me to his greatest joy: his beloved Daddy. Yikealo has told us that he had a "first Mom" before me, but that David is his "first Dad." He loves having a father figure in his life, and he will try to imitate EVERYTHING that David does, from the things he says, to the way he dresses, to the way he folds his toilet paper - (I'm not kidding!) Mr. Y delights in anything that will make him "just like my Dad!" They play chess and an ancient computer game from David's childhood called "Final Fantasy", they both have to use a shoehorn to put on their good shoes, they both eat hotdogs with only mustard (because "only girls like ketchup") and they both have to have a stack of interesting books or magazines in the bathroom - their "places" marked with a sheet of toilet paper (never mind the fact that Yikealo can't read yet.)

A few weeks ago, David was getting dressed for work, and happened to put on a t-shirt that Yikealo has also. Yikealo was SO excited, and immediately tried to copy David's outfit as closely as possible.

A few days later, Yikealo insisted on buying a pair of slippers with his money - because "my Dad always wears slippers!" The next morning when David left for work, I found Mr. Y's new footwear exactly where David always leaves his slippers - on the rug in front of David's closet.

And then there is the way that they both run their fingers through their hair, obsessively pat down their cereal before pouring milk into the bowl, and make the same ridiculous faces...I mean, honestly, what can you really say about this?

In short, if David does it, you can be certain that Yikealo will imitate him. All silliness aside, son, I think that you've decided on a great role-model, and it gives me great joy to watch you being "just like" your Daddy!

This Morning's Conversation...

2011-05-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

As I was getting ready for work this morning, Malia was proudly showing Yikealo her older siblings' elementary school yearbook in the family room. (Don't ask me why she wanted to bring that along with her this week?!) Anyway, as I listened in on their conversation, I heard the following:

Mimi: "Hey, Yikealo, do you want to see a black boy?"
Y: (in a slightly awe-struck and very excited tone) "Yeah!"
...long pause...
Mimi: "Look. There he is."
Y: (sounding rather disgusted) "He is NOT black. He's brown, just like me."
Mimi: "Well, that's what I meant."
Me: "Hey, Yikealo, sometimes when people have a little bit darker brown skin like yours, they're called black. But that's not really the right name for the color of your skin, is it?"
Y: "No, because I'm brown."
Mimi: "Well, sometimes I get black and brown mixed up, because they're almost the same."
Y: "They are not! And besides, white is the opposite of black, and people can't be opposites!" (Not sure what this had to do with anything!)
Me: "Well, we are certainly a lot more alike than we are different, aren't we? Because really, we're all just different shades of brown, right?"
Y: "Right! You and Mimi are really light brown, and I am a little bit darker brown."

Testing...123...Testing...

2011-04-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY CHILD-CARE SYSTEM...DO NOT PANIC...IT IS ONLY A TEST...

So, we are the "parents" of two children for the next week or so. We are keeping my niece Malia while her parents (Chris and Erica) are off on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera. (They're going for Chris's business, so don't get too envious!) Anyway, Malia and Yikealo are just 4 days apart in age, they are both VERY used to getting their own way, and they can both be a bit bossy. Thankfully, they get along pretty well most of the time. This ought to give us a pretty good taste of what parenting 2 might be like though, and we've even got the elements of loneliness and grieving for missed parents in place here. I'm not sure that Miss Mimi has ever been away from all three of her siblings and her parents for this long before, and I know we're going to have some rocky moments from time to time!

Let's take a look at bedtime last night, for example: We had gone out to eat with Chris and Erica before going our separate ways, and we got home with the kiddos around 7:15. Neither child had napped during the day, so it was bedtime. We got the pajamas on, the teeth brushed, read the Bible story, sang a song, said prayers and memory verses, and then settled them in at opposite ends of Yikealo's twin bed. They were both beaming happily as we kissed them good night and left the room.

Now, let me preface this next part by saying that Yikealo NEVER gets out of bed once he's in. Once in a great while, he might get up to go potty, but then he goes straight back to bed. Yeah, I know he's unusual, but my point is, that's what we're used to around here, okay? Having stayed overnight at Chris and Erica's house numerous times, let's just say that I know it's a different story there...got the picture? Less than three minutes after we left the room last night, I heard their bedroom door creak open and both kids came out looking up at me expectantly.

Y: "Mom, Mimi can't go to sleep."
Me: "That's ridiculous. You haven't been back there for even 5 minutes yet - that's not enough time to try properly, okay? Sometimes it takes a little longer to fall asleep. Let's go back to bed and try a little harder."

I tucked them back in, kissed them good night, handed them each their respective stuffed animals or dolls, and left the room again.

20 minutes later: CREEAKK...the door opened again...and Malia emerged.
Mimi: "Risa, I'm scared."
Me: "Why are you scared?"
Mimi: (starting to cry as she heads back to Yikealo's room) "I want my Mommy!"
Me: "Mimi, I'm sorry, but your Mom and Dad are going to be gone for a week. I know that you miss them, and that's okay, but you're going to be fine here. You're staying in a nice, safe house with an aunt and uncle and cousin who love you. We are right here if you need us, and you're going to be fine. What did your Mommy say that you were supposed to do if you got scared?"
Mimi: "Pray to Jesus."
Me: "That's right, because He can make you feel better. Now, do you want me to rock you for a little bit?"
Mimi: "Yeah." (said in a shaky, sobbing little breath.)
Yikealo: "I'm a big boy. I don't need to be rocked."
Me: "Well, Mimi is staying in a new place and she misses her family, okay? Now, lay down and go to sleep."

I carried her to the rocking chair in the living room, snuggled her up in a blanket, and she was out sound in less than 5 minutes. I carefully carried her back to Yikealo's room, put her down on the bed and tucked her back in. Yikealo immediately sat up with a hopeful look on his face:

Y: "Mom, could you please rock me too?"
Me: (big sigh) "Sure."
David: (snickering) "I'll stay in here with Mimi in case she wakes up again."
I carry Yikealo to the rocking chair.
Y: "Mom, you have to rock me as long as you rocked Mimi, okay?"
Me: "Yes, I will, but that wasn't very long at all, because she went right to sleep. Now you try to do the same."

A few minutes later, I carried a "sleeping" boy (who was snoring in a very fake manner with a little smirk on his face) back to the bedroom. I put him down on the bed, and he popped up immediately, wanting a stuffed animal. His talking woke up Malia, who blinked up blearily from the other end of the bed. I tucked them both in yet again, and kissed them yet again, and walked out keeping my fingers crossed.

25 minutes later: CREEAKK...the door opened and Malia emerged...again...
Mimi: (with extremely sleepy eyes) "Risa, it's too light for me to get to sleep."
Me: (with a smidgen less patience in my voice) "Malia, that doesn't make any sense. It's almost dark outside, and about a half hour ago you were sound asleep when it was much lighter out. You are extremely tired, and you need to go to sleep."
Mimi: (sobbing in earnest now) "I WANT MY MOMMY!!!"
Me: "Let's go blow your nose. Mimi, did you pray to Jesus like your Mommy told you to?"
Mimi: "Yeessss!" (sniffle, sob, snort)
Me: "Okay, do you believe that Jesus will keep you safe if you ask Him?"
Mimi: "Yeessss!"
Me: "Well, then you need to trust Him, alright? If you ask Him to watch over you, then He's going to. I already heard you pray for your Mommy and Daddy tonight...now I want to hear you pray for yourself too."
Mimi: "Jesus, pl..pl...please k..k...keep me s..safe and help m...m...me n...n...not to be sc...sc...scared."
Me: "Now you've got to believe that. Would it help if you slept right beside Yikealo?"
Mimi: "Yeessss!"
Me: (tucking them in again) "You two just snuggle up together and go right to sleep, okay? If you keep waking each other up, we're going to have to put you in separate beds until you're sleeping."
Mimi: "NNOOOO!!!"
Me: "Well, then go to sleep. And Mimi, I think this is really very good for you, because when you get your new little brother or sister from Ethiopia, this is how they are going to be feeling all the time, except it will be even worse. They aren't going to really know you yet, they won't understand the language that you're speaking, and they're not going to understand what happened to their family. They're going to be so scared, and now you're going to be able to understand just a tiny bit of what they're going to feel like, okay?"
Mimi: (with very wide eyes) "Okay."
Yikealo: "I'm trying to go to sleep, but she keeps waking me up."
Me: "Well, you've woken her up too. Now both of you lay very quietly and try very hard not to wake each other up again."

25 minutes later: all was finally quiet. I took a chance and peeked in...SUCCESS!! They were both sound asleep. Now, they were up at 6:10 this morning, after falling asleep around 9:00 last night, so I think that naps are definitely in our future today, but we made it through night #1. Eight more to go!

On a quick note, our April numbers were: #58 for a girl and #44 for a boy. There has only been one referral that we know of during the whole month of April, so we probably have a bit of a wait yet before we have two children for real!

Why?

2011-04-12T18:16:00.000-07:00

I've often wondered why God created mankind. In conversation with other Christians I've discovered this to be a common question: why'd He do it?

The question stretches our understanding of God: if God is omnipotent, then surely he knew what would happen to Jesus as a result of making mankind. God can see the future, so he must have known the price... this didn't catch Him by surprise did it?

Whenever I've asked someone this question, the immediate answer was always something like: "well, God loves you and wants to spend eternity with you, and this was the only way". But this always seemed 'weak' to me. Didn't God love Jesus too? Wasn't there some other way?

I was running through these thoughts one day while mowing the yard and started praying; I asked God for insight into this question. While God is not always immediate when He answers my prayers, the answer did come immediately on this day. I won't say that I went into a trance, but a story flashed across my consciousness as if I were watching a movie:

I was a dad on a business trip to the west coast (we live in the Eastern time zone). I had several children: an older biological son and several adopted children much younger. It was late at night. My cell phone rang and my oldest son shouted in a panicked voice: "Dad, I just got home and the house in on fire! What should I do?"

What should I tell my son? I cannot rescue the other children myself. I love my oldest son. I love all my children. Equally. I do the only thing I can: "Son, you need to rescue your siblings; you're the only one who can."

So, was this a message from God or the aimless wanderings of a mind not fully occupied by mowing the yard? I believe the former. Consider the evidence: God did indeed send His oldest, only begotten son to die for his adopted children. That's really it. Can you imagine this act if God loved us less than our big Brother?

This realization led me to further considerations: Does adoption really count? I've always considered myself as Child of God second class as compared to Jesus, but this contradicts my personal experience as a father: I can say unequivocally that yes, adoption does count.

Further, consider the scripture. Biblical inheritance is passed from father to son. Could Jesus be of the lineage of David, a "son of David" as Bartimaeus calls him, if not for His adoption by Joseph? The entirety of God's promise to Abraham and the Davidic lineage falls apart if adoption doesn't count.(Note that this point was recently driven home to me by Russell Moore in his book Adopted for Life).

I can only draw one conclusion from all this: the answer to my question is, in fact, as simple as originally communicated to me: 'because God loves us'.

However, I would take this one step farther: because God loves all his children equally.

Do you believe that? That God loves you as he loves Jesus?

If you don't, then ask yourself: why does God call us his children? Why is Christ called the son of David? And, finally, why'd he create us to start with?

I Think He Loves Me!

2011-03-29T16:14:00.000-07:00

Yikealo has been a very loving little boy from day one, but lately he's been especially so. For a "words of affirmation" person like myself, that's a great trait to experience in one's child, I must say! Here are a few examples of the sweetness:

"Mama, you're as pretty as a flower." (This sort of melted away what had been a rather grumpy mood on my part.)
When I told him, "I'm so glad that you're my little boy" he responded, "Well, I'm so glad that you're my lovely Mama!"
Today, while I was snuggling him in the rocking chair after his nap he said, "Mom, sometimes your son just needs to spend some time with you." Yeah, buddy, I feel the same way about needing time with you.
"You are the best Mama in the whole wide world."
Several times he has handed me a fistful of crumpled, dead leaves, proclaiming with a sweet smile, "Mama, look! I brought you some pretty leaves, because I thought they would make you smile!" Ah yes, what a good reminder that beauty can be found nearly anywhere, if only I look for it...

He's also been a bit obsessed with wanting to marry me lately. We're trying to explain that that's not possible, but he's not totally convinced. The other day I was commenting on how big he is getting and teasing him that he should stay little. He replied that he was going to get as big as Daddy and then he could marry me. I said that no, I was already married to Daddy, so I couldn't marry him. He dropped it for awhile, but the next morning, we had this conversation:

Y: "Mom, why can you not be married to me AND Daddy?"
Me: "Because you just can't be married to more than one person. That's the law."
Y: "Well, I am going to grow bigger than Daddy, AND I am going to be a garbage man. Then you will want to marry me!"
Me: "No, actually, I love being married to Daddy, and honestly, I really don't think I want to marry a garbage man."
Y: "Why??" (Obviously, to a 4 year old boy, being a garbage man must be the pinnacle of success!)
Me: "Because Daddy's not a garbage man, and besides, a garbage man might be kind of stinky."
Y: "What if I am a garbage man AND a dumpster man?"
Me: "Then I will still stay married to Daddy."
Y: "Mom, then how about this: what if I just marry whoever God tells me to marry?"
Me: "That is your best idea yet. That is a very good decision."

As I was typing this, I overheard the following the kitchen:
Y: "Dad, who do you love best: me or Mama?"
David: "Why would you ask that? Do you think that I SHOULD love one of you more?"
Y: "No, you should love both of us. Is that right?"
David: "Do you think that God loves one of us more than the other?"
Y: "I think that He loves both of us the same."
David: "That's right. A Daddy is supposed to be a picture of God for his family, so I really can't love you or Mama more than the other. I love you both very very much."

At this point, I decided to insert myself into the conversation:
Me: "Hey, Yikealo, who do you love best? Mama or Daddy?"
Y: (grinning) "Why do you ask?"
Me: "I'm just curious."
Y: "Both, of course!"
Me: "That was a very good answer!"

New Numbers and New Friends

2011-03-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

As many of you have probably heard by now, things have gotten a little crazy in the world of Ethiopian adoptions during the last few weeks. About 2 weeks ago, MOWA (the Ministry of Women's Affairs in Ethiopia) announced that they were going to be processing a maximum of 5 cases per day, which could mean up to a 90% reduction in the number of adoptions from Ethiopia. Since that announcement, there have been many advocacy meetings between the Ethiopian government and various other organizations, the director of MOWA has been terminated, and there are lots of rumors flying around. No one seems to know for sure at this point how everything will proceed, but there could be a huge amount of extra waiting time added to adoption cases that are currently in process. Pray for the children who are languishing right now in orphanages as they wait to meet their new families. One thing that we are completely sure of: God knew that this would happen when He called us into this adoption, so there is no use worrying about it. Praying, yes, but worrying? NO! God knows the plans that He has for us and for our future son or daughter, so we will wait until He is ready to reveal those plans.

On a positive note, we received our March numbers today, and there has been significant movement since our "official" update in February. We are now officially #64 for a girl and #51 for a boy.

Last weekend, we had the opportunity to spend some time with a fellow adoptive family that we have had the pleasure of getting to "know" online for the last year and a half. The "R" family adopted their son from Hannah's Hope a few weeks before Yikealo arrived there. When we arrived home several months later, our social worker connected our families, and we have been e-mailing and following each other's blogs since. We've been wanting to meet for some time, and last weekend we finally made it happen.

Our boys seemed to hit it off right away. They played soccer in the back yard, played Wii games, and giggled about how similar their hair was. Shortly after we arrived at their house, both boys came swaggering out from one of the bedrooms with their shirts off, puffing out their chests in exactly the same way. We had to laugh at the expectant, excited looks on their faces! They were obviously excited by the similarity of their skin-tones and hair texture. That's not all they have in common either: they are both originally from the same region of Ethiopia, they are both INTENSELY competitive, and they are both incapable of standing still when they are happy. They skip instead of walking, they use some of the same hand gestures, they both have ridiculously long tongues, and they still use Amharic words for the bathroom. Oh yeah, and they're REALLY cute!

I think that Yikealo's favorite part of the visit was their HUGE box of dress-up clothes. I've been borrowing children's books on tape for him from the library lately, and awhile back he became OBSESSED with Disney's Toy Story. He listened to it so many times that he had it memorized. Well, not only did the R's have a Toy Story game for their Wii, they had costumes for Buzz and Woody both! What more could a little boy possibly want? Yikealo sort of refused to take his Buzz costume off once he discovered it, although at one point, he added Woody's cowboy hat to the ensemble and was calling himself "Buzz-Woody."

We had such a wonderful time with this incredible family! We talked and talked, comparing notes on everything from adoption and Ethiopia to faith, marriage and family. It's always a blessing to meet someone who has walked a similar path to yours, and we are so thankful that we had the chance to connect! The three older girls spoiled Mr. Y by letting him play with their cell-phones and take their pictures, so he thought they were just great. He keeps talking about them, although he can't remember their names, so they are "the big girl and the other big girl and the little girl."

The boys insisted that we take a "silly" picture of all of us, and since my "nice" picture didn't turn out...here's some serious goofiness for you!

Thank you, R family! You are a blessing!

Two Years Later...

2011-03-05T09:33:00.000-08:00

Two years ago today, a very sad little boy named Yikealo arrived at Hannah's Hope - a place that would be his temporary home for almost 4 months. He had spent the previous few days traveling - about 500 miles away from the places and the people that he knew. He was scared and lonely and didn't understand what was happening to him. God had big plans, but Yikealo didn't know about that yet. He just missed his mother and his brother, and he felt lost.

I was looking at these pictures on our computer awhile back when Mr. Y walked into the room. The photos prompted the following conversation:

Y: "Hey, that's me!"
Me: "Yes, it is. These photos always make me feel sad."
Y: "Why?"
Me: "Well, you just look so sad in them, and it makes me feel sad too."
Y: "Well, I WAS sad."
Me: "Do you remember how you felt then? Why were you so sad?"
Y: (shrugging his shoulders in a very matter-of-fact manner) "Because I just wanted a Mom and a Dad."

Then he reached up, gave me a big hug and turned back to his train set. Oh, how I love this kid. It makes my Mama heart ache to think about what he must have been going through, and yet I know how that story ends. I know that God has brought amazing beauty from the ashes of tragedy. What really breaks my heart are the millions of other children around the world in that exact situation right now...children who have that haunted look in their eyes because they "just want a Mom and a Dad" - a blessing that I have often taken for granted in my own sheltered life.

Today, my little guy spent the morning with his Daddy - off doing "guy stuff" together. They bought new tires for our car, got David's driver's license renewed, and stopped for smoothies at McDonald's. They ate breakfast together, read some stories, and crowed over how they were wearing the same type of shoes. When they arrived back home, Yikealo ran toward me full-tilt and leaped into my arms, wrapping his own around my neck and squeezing. It's pretty amazing the difference that two years can make!

A Letter For Grammy

2011-03-03T16:54:00.000-08:00

I happen to be the eldest of five children. When I moved away to college, my youngest brother was just 4 years old. He was a wonderful little boy with a happy, sunny personality, and I missed him like crazy.

To tide me over until my next visit home, Mom would send me letters from little Sethie, along with coloring pages and sticks of gum taped inside the cards. These bright spots in my day always made me laugh and cry, and they are still some of my most treasured possessions. (Okay, I admit I tend toward sentimentality!) Seth couldn't write yet at the time, so Mom would write down exactly what he said as he dictated to her. Sorry, Seth, to share your inmost 4-year-old thoughts with the blogosphere, but some things should just be shared:

"Dear Larisa,
I miss you very much, and I love you. I always like to sleep with you when you come home because I miss you.
We are eating at Arby's in Fort Wayne, and Mom's going to get me a Peter Pan hat.
I'm gonna have fun in school next year. I'm gonna color, put bricks together and draw.
I go with my Dad in the combine and tractor. Oh, and the spray coupe.
Chet plays me "farm."
Thor jumps on me and knocks me over. I do not like the dog. One night, we came home from Grandpa's and all of a sudden there was a "plop" and he broke his chain. Dad had to fix it.
Dad built our house 10 million years ago. Who knows who built this Arby's we are in?!
I wish I was a ship captain because boats are fun to ride in.
Mom wore a flowered shirt.
I saw a lot of junky cars today.
I'll be glad to see you this weekend.
Bye,
Seth

Then there were the colored pictures - like this one with the unlikely title "Lou is wearing NARROW pants." What?!

Today, that little guy with the very random thoughts is a 4.0 pharmacy student who is also a husband and a father to three children - including his very own 4 year old boy. It's hard to believe how fast time goes, but I love having these little glimpses into who he was "back in the day."

Which brings me to the point of this post: my Mom had knee surgery last week, and Yikealo asked if we could please send her a card. (BTW, he received something like 85 cards and gifts following his appendectomy, so I'm glad that he's feeling the need to "give back" - for awhile, the constant influx of stuff was making him feel pretty entitled.) Anyway, I decided that Grammy needed a taste of a little boy's letter, so yesterday Mr. Y dictated the following:

Dear Grammy,
I love you. We hope you get better. We hope you can feel better. We hope you can join us.
I am sending $5 to you because you have an ouchie leg. I think you should buy a Spiderman with your money. I think you should like Spidermans because I like them.
I love you forever and ever and ever.
I was writing my favorite smell for pre-school this morning, and then I wrote my name in the wrong spot. Instead of just saying "caramel corn", my paper said, "caramelyikcornealo." Now my Dad says that's my new name.
We love you like a puzzle, and we like you even if you ever get mad.
If you get angry or grouchy like my mom, we will still love you - even if you are like a yellow pencil."

Okay, so maybe Mr. Y doesn't have quite the breadth of subject matter that his "Uncle Seffie" had at this age, but you've gotta love the assortment of stickers that he included, right? The best part was when my mom called today - giggling away over the phone. Yikealo was beaming from ear to ear when she thanked him for the letter.

A few other side notes on the gifts from his hospitalization: the kid received LOTS of cash from LOTS of people. We are trying to start teaching him about stewardship, so he and David counted it all out one Saturday. We made him put 10% into a charity or Sunday school fund, we made him pay for the $130 emergency room bill (we told him we'd handle the rest), and then we told him that he has to save the rest for things that he would like to purchase. In order to buy something, he has to tell us what he wants and then wait at least one week before buying it so that he can think about whether or not he's making a good decision. It was all his idea to send Grammy five of his dollars, so I was glad that he was thinking of someone else. However, lately he has suddenly become OBSESSED with Disney World. I really don't know how he even learned about it, but he has been talking about it non-stop and asking if we can please go sometime. We've told him that maybe someday we can, but it is very expensive, and right now we are saving our money so that we "can get our new little boy or girl." Tonight, he suggested that perhaps all three of us could get sick and go to the hospital so that people would send us money...so that we could go to Disney World. Hmmmm....I think we've got a little more work to do on the explanation of just where money comes from and how it should be used!

Bits from February

2011-02-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Here we are...almost to the very end of the month, and I still haven't posted anything. Sometimes good intentions just get lost in the midst of life, I guess. First of all, I should let you all know our now seriously obsolete February numbers:

There were only 2 referrals that went out during the month of January, so we didn't move at all on the boys list, and only 2 spaces on the girls list. Thankfully, there has been a decent amount of movement on both lists during the month of February, so our March numbers should look a little more encouraging!

As you can see from the photo, we've been inundated with plenty of snow this month - especially during the last week. We had nine inches last Monday and another seven or so on Thursday and Friday. The previous Friday was a beautiful, sunshiney day that reached almost 60 degrees, so it was kind of hard to be covered up with snow again this week. I think that our driveway was completely clear of ice and snow for about 30 hours or so prior to these last two storms! Oh well, I have to admit that it's beautiful - even when the snow is coating the little leaf buds that had just started to appear...

While I'm getting a bit weary of all of the cold, white stuff, Yikealo is loving it. I think that on Tuesday alone this week he spent around 4 hours playing outside in the snow. After church this afternoon, David and Mr. Y headed outdoors to build a snowman. Some time later, they appeared at the front door begging me to "come see something!" When I peeked out the front door, I saw this:

That's right - an entire snow family. "Mom, we even made one for our little boy or girl!" Mr. Y excitedly informed me. Then he wanted to know when I was going to cry: "Daddy said that it would make you start to cry!" Have I ever mentioned how much I love my two boys?!

Speaking of love, earlier this week I was awakened by Yikealo running into my room, jumping on the bed and wrapping his arms around me..."Mom, wake up! I am here to snuggle with you - now how do you think your day will be?" Let's just say that it was a really nice start to the morning!

We learned a few weeks ago that David has active inflammation in his small intestine at both reconnection sites from his last bout of operations. While we were not pleased to learn that his Crohn's disease is showing up in a new area, God has really been impressing upon both of us that He knows our future and His plans for us. There is so much peace in trusting Him with the unknowns, and it is always exciting to see my relationship with my Father growing and stretching. Still, we would greatly appreciate your prayers!

Finally, we learned something really encouraging and exciting this week - the meaning of Yikealo's name. I have a whole post rattling around in my head over our son's first name, so I'll probably have a lot more to say in the near future. For now, I'll just leave you with the profound thought that God has been sharing with us over and over during the last few weeks, and that we now find is the meaning of the name "Yikealo": "GOD IS ABLE!!"

Words Fail Me

2011-01-28T17:37:00.000-08:00

One cool thing about being a dad is that you never know what awaits you upon opening the door when arriving home from work. Could it be a fighter mighter? Possibly a fierce Lompster?

I could go on for some time, but this post is really all about the pic. Larisa phoned me on my commute home to ensure that I wasn't running late. The reason: my son had a surprise that he could not wait to show me. It is not uncommon for Yikealo to want to share something with me... but nothing prepared me for this:

Construction paper mask: check
Mama's red V-neck shirt turned inside out and backwards and pinned: check
Construction paper insignia: check
Black gloves: check
Black compression socks: check
Mr. Incredible undies worn on the outside: check

Truly, a picture says a thousand words.

Home Safe

2011-01-21T15:55:00.000-08:00

Yikealo was released from Akron Childrens Wedneday evening. Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and support through this emergency.

He is doing well; I told Larisa he was either going to be discharged or expelled, whichever came first :) Seriously, he was goofing off in record time following his operation, and he won over pretty much any of the hospital staff that entered his room!

The parents in this little family are realizing why most of you folks start raising kids in your early 20s. Us oldtimers don't bounce back from the all-nighters like we used to. Praise God we've made it through the week, and Lord willing, we'll catch up on our rest this weekend.

Several people have asked "how did you know it was appendicitis?" so I thought I'd pass along some of the conditions that made us curious. This is not a complete list by any stretch nor am I a medical doctor. This is just one dad's observations (why am I always writing about this kind of stuff anyway?):

There was no diarrhea. We learned in the ER that the level of inflammation in the appendix ultimately shut down the peristalsis in the colon (the muscle movement used to push things along).
The vomiting was never particularly productive, more just bile. You all know what usually happens on the first trip to the toilet to vomit, but that wasn't the case for Y. Not much came up.
Yikealo experienced a high degree of protracted pain in his abdomen. The pain was very cyclical coming and going in fairly regular waves and often not associated with any nausea. The pain worsened when he sat up, stood or walked, and he nearly went into orbit if someone touched his abdomen. He is typically a very tough little kid: he is much more likely to cry over having his feelings hurt than over being physically hurt, so when he was keening and rocking back and forth, we were fairly certain that it was serious.
Unlike a flu where the patient is usually happy to lay still, Yikealo couldn't get comfortable and kept writhing around and getting into different - sometimes bizarre - positions.
He had no appetite whatsover. In previous bouts with the flu he was constantly begging for something to drink. Not this time.
When we took him to the ER, the doctor was at first ready to give him some IV fluids and send him home ("this is the 11th case of a stomach virus that I've seen today") UNTIL...he listened to Y's abdomen and could hear absolutely no bowel sounds.

We also found out from the surgeon that it is nearly impossible to get a child who is under the age of 5 into surgery fast enough to avoid the appendix rupturing. He said that they almost always rupture so quickly that the damage is done almost before you know what's going on. Also, far more boys get appendicitis than girls. Several things made Y's hospital visit go fairly smoothly, however. First of all, his appendix was apparently "tucked away" behind his colon, so when it ruptured, the infection mainly stayed in one area, rather than spilling throughout his abdomen. Also, only the tip of his had ruptured by the time it was removed, so again, the clean-up wasn't nearly as bad as it can often be. Most children with a ruptured appendix end up in the hospital for 5-10 days after surgery, whereas Mr. Y was only there for three days following his operation. He actually quite enjoyed his stay in the hospital - he got to watch movies, play lots of games with an activities volunteer named Dan (who always let Y win), and get lots of toys and games from the hospital. He netted 5 stuffed animals, a Lego set, a puzzle, a fleece blanket, a puppet, two coloring books and some stickers - all from the hospital! Not to mention all of the wonderful cards, gifts and visitors that he has received. He asked us yesterday if it was Christmas again...

He also wanted to know when Larisa was going to "get a belly ouchie like me and Daddy?" When she told him that she hoped she never would, he replied, "Why? I will stay with you in the hospital. You don't need to be afraid, because I will hold your hand and play games with you." She's still not convinced though.

In other news, Yikealo has taken to typing a bunch of gibberish into any document we have open and leave unattended. When asked, he tells us that he's been blogging.

Sooo... here's the first message from Y to make it off the hard drive:
jdrfkrktrljfhhfjbgyitugujrnhgmkt..hn nngfhnggghfhhfdjruthgsdnahgjrnjrghfuryrbfhuyr nghfjhhyrhtjiktkiifdkoppfv,nnd vbdrfkgjuvfnmmmbbvjbgkj,kkgjkhkkjggmjb mj

Surprise Surgery

2011-01-16T12:49:00.000-08:00

Yikealo woke up yesterday morning with what we thought was a stomach virus. By last evening, he was feverish and writhing in pain intermittently, so we ended up in the ER. A CT scan showed some issues, so he was transferred to Akron Children's Hospital early this morning, and a few hours later, had an appendectomy. His appendix had ruptured, although the surgeon said that the infection had not spread much at all, and he was confident that they cleaned out the abdominal cavity sufficiently during surgery. So....we're stuck in the hospital for at least three days and would appreciate your prayers! Mr. Y has been incredible - so brave and strong - and he's pretty excited that he has yet something else in common with his Daddy: a "belly ouchie." I mean, who would not want matching laparoscopic abdominal scars with their favorite person in the world?

I must say that I am not fond of this particular part of motherhood. I really hate seeing my little guy in pain. I hate worrying about possible infections. Yet, I am also amazed by and thankful for God's provision. If Yikealo had not become part of our family, this appendicitis attack could very likely have been fatal for him.

New Numbers, Our FDL, and other Adoption Information

2011-01-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

Our waitlist numbers for the month of January are #78 for a girl and #59 for a boy. We've officially moved 12 spaces on the girl's list in the last 2 months and 4 spaces on the boy's list.

In other news, I forgot to mention our wonderful Christmas Eve surprise: we received our FDL in the mail that day - only 9 days after our fingerprints were taken up at the Cleveland USCIS office! To remind those of you who are not in the adoption world, USCIS stands for "United States Citizenship and Immigration Services" and FDL stands for "Favorable Determination Letter." Basically, USCIS takes a look at our homestudy, collects a whopping fee, takes our fingerprints, and forwards a "these people are okay to bring an immigrant into the country" letter to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. We were really excited that we got our clearance so quickly after our prints were taken. Then, on New Year's Eve, we learned that as of January 1st of this year, Ethiopia has started requiring the FDL to be part of the actual dossier. Our dossier hadn't been authenticated yet, so early last week, we had to have a copy of our FDL notarized, (promising that it was a "true and accurate copy" of our original FDL) and then sent of to our agency to become part of our dossier.

This seems like a good time to do another explanation: What is a dossier, anyway?? Well, it's essentially a collection of documents that is sent to the foreign country to explain who we are as a family, and it is used to make sure that we are eligible to meet the adoption requirements of that country. In our case, our dossier includes the following:

2 signed and notarized Power of Attorney forms, giving Almaz (the director at Hannah's Hope) the authority to match us with a child, have all of the medical examinations performed on that child, make any legal arrangements necessary, and bascially facilitate the entire adoption on our behalf. One of these POA forms must also be county and state certified (attached to a sealed document from the Clerk of Common Pleas of the county in with the notary has his/her commission, stating that the notary's signature is genuine, and also a sealed document from the Secretary of State, stating that the Clerk of Court's signature is authentic.)
a signed and notarized letter to MOWA (the Ministry of Women's Affairs) in Ethiopia, giving a brief explanation of our family and our reasons for wanting to adopt a child from Ethiopia.
signed and notarized copies of our US passports - one for David, one for me.
2 passport-style photos of both David and me.
Color photos of our family and home. We had to have one photo of David, one of me, one of the two of us together, 2 of our family, photos of the front and the back of our home, and several photos showing the interior of our home. Due to cultural differences, we had to ensure that there are NO pets in these photos.
an official notarized copy of our home study report, with a copy of our agency's license attached.
signed and notarized letters from our employers, stating the length of our employment and our annual income.
a signed and notarized financial statement for the household, including a list of assets, insurance coverage and income.
certified copies of the birth certificates of both of us.
certified copy of our marriage license
a medical form for each parent, stating that we do not suffer from any infection or "mental inferiority" that would hinder our ability to parent a child. The doctor's signature must be notarized on this.
a criminal check for each parent, stating that we are clear from any past criminal history. The person who completes the background check must have his or her signature notarized.
2 signed and notarized letters of recommendation - one from a family member and one from a friend - recommending us as parents of an Ethiopian child.
a signed and notarized "Post-Adoption Commitment" letter, promising to meet the country's requirements for post-adoption reports on the child. Ethiopia requires 3 reports during the child's first year home, and then once a year until the child reaches the age of 18. These reports must include a description of the child's physical, mental and emotional development, a description of his/her relationship to the family and community, explanation of major events that have affected the family and/or the child, and recent photographs of the child.
and now, a signed and notarized copy of our FDL

Whew! To further complicate things, the powers that be in Ethiopia see the expiration of the notary's commission to be the expiration of the document signed by that notary. That means that we always have to use a notary whose signature doesn't expire for 12-18 months - otherwise, we would have to redo these documents at some later date in order to complete the adoption. Once the dossier has been approved by our agency, they send it off to the US State Department in Washington DC to be "authenticated" (basically bound together with a cover letter to the government of Ethiopia.) This is then sent back to our agency in Oregon, who then forwards it to the AGCI staff working in Ethiopia. Once we are matched with a child, our entire dossier must be translated into Amharic and matched up with our child's history in order to be used in the court process. If it all sounds long and complicated, that's because it is...but it's so worth it in the end. Because of a little time and effort on our part, a needy child somewhere can have a home and a family!

Speaking of Ethiopia, we celebrated Ganna, or Ethiopian Christmas last Friday evening. We dressed in our Ethiopian garb, listened to some Amharic music and ate injera and shiro. I will say that the onion that I chopped up for the shiro was the MOST powerful onion that I've every encountered. We were all crying for well over an hour, and Yikealo was NOT impressed with the way his eyes were burning. He asked if we could please "go somewhere to eat our injera and shiro next time - like we did that other time? Mom, they make it better than you do!" That's probably true - or at least we don't have tears running down our faces at the restaurant!

Speaking of Coveting...

2011-01-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

In my last post, I described my conversation with Yikealo about his post-Christmas attitude, and how we shouldn't always be thinking that we need more stuff or wanting what others have. While I realize that we all struggle with this at times, Yikealo and his cousin Zavier seem to take it to a whole new level when they are together. They love spending time with each other, but they are constantly fighting over the most ridiculous things! I mean, seriously, do these items look like "treasures" to you?

Well, let me assure you that two 4-year-old boys certainly thought that they were treasures. In saying that, let me explain several things: first of all, my parents have raised 5 kids and frequently take care of multiple grandkids. There is NOT a shortage of toys in the house. For crying out loud, my Mom still has toys that SHE had as a little girl, not to mention the thousands (literally) of other toys and games crammed into drawers and boxes and cupboards and closets all over the house. Secondly, Yikealo and Zavier don't actually PLAY with the items in question; instead, they are used solely for the purpose of taunting the other. For example, Yikealo would thrust the "sword" in Zavi's face and say something like, "Zavi, I have the sword. Ha ha!" which would, of course, cause Zavi to start screeching that HE wanted the sword. You get the picture.

So, on Wednesday, the sought-after item was this three-inch plastic sword.

Now, maybe it's just because I'm a girl, but I really don't get the appeal. It's not like you can actually use it for anything, right? (Other than taunting, that is.) Anyway, after we had listened to the bickering for quite some time, David removed the wonderful sword to the top of the refrigerator where neither Y nor Z could reach it.

On Thursday, they both had to have this horrible stuffed snake:

You're kidding, right? Not only is it ugly, but it's about a million years old, the thread is looping out of its right nostril in a disturbing way, and the stuffing is all bunched around inside, leaving certain areas strangely limp. It DOES make a keen whirring noise when you swing it around your head, but come on! Needless to say, the snake was also removed to the top of the refrigerator.

On Friday, it was the yellow plastic pliers (or "tweezers" as Zavi calls them.)

Now, I will grant that toy pliers could serve some purpose, but really, with the HOST of other toys around, are these really fight-worthy? What about them just screams "I HAVE to have that!!" to you? After some ear-splitting yowls from the boys, Casey (Zavi's mom) decided to set the timer for two minutes at a time, so that they could take turns holding the pliers. Once the reason to argue was removed, both boys lost interest fairly rapidly and ran off to play hide and seek. Apparently, however, Mr. Y hadn't completely forgotten the precious bit of yellow plastic, because at some point he managed to sneak them upstairs and "hide" them under his blankets - just so that he could wave them in Zavi's face first thing on Saturday morning. At that point, the pliers were also removed to the top of the fridge.

So, we're up to Saturday morning by now, and my Mom was busy completing last-minute preparations for the entire family to descend upon the house within a few hours. The noisy boys got sent off to the basement to play, with many injunctions to "STAY AWAY FROM THE PRESENTS!!!" A few minutes later, Zavi came back into the family room with an utterly dejected look on his face and asked Casey, "Mom, how old am I?" Casey looked confused and said, "Four. You know that." Zavi looked very relieved and replied, "Well, Yikealo said that I couldn't play with anything because I'm not four." Then he ran excitedly to the steps and called, "Yikealo, my mom said I'm four!" I made Yikealo come upstairs and asked him why he'd told Zavi not to touch any of the toys. Yikealo's response? "Well, I didn't think he was four." I asked what that had to do with anything. Yikealo replied, "I thought that he would make a mess." I gave him a little lecture about the fact that he was NOT the boss, and if he couldn't be nice to his cousin, he was going to be standing in the corner for awhile. The two boys headed back to the basement and peace reigned for a few moments...

...until...

...they came back upstairs arguing over whose turn it was to hold a ping-pong ball (or "pinkle" ball, as Yikealo calls it.) Never mind the fact that there were many other "pinkle" balls in the basement - this particular one obviously had special powers. Or something. Anyway, my Dad went to the basement to get balls for Zavi and Lexie too, since Yikealo was refusing to give up his right to "the one." You would think that if each of the kids was holding the same type of ball that they would stop fighting, right? Not so. About a half hour later, Yikealo and Zavi were playing tug-of-war over one of the balls on the staircase to the upper floor. David was heading down from our upstairs bedroom, didn't see Zavi and tripped over him, sending him tumbling down 2 or 3 steps. Zavi started wailing, and David (who had obviously had ENOUGH) put the offending ball down on the hard floor and stomped it to bits. He then calmly picked it up, walked to the kitchen to throw it away and told my Mom, "I owe you a new "pinkle" ball."

And lest you think that Zavi is always the victim, on Friday evening, about 45 minutes after we had put Yikealo to bed, some kids started shrieking from the other room. My brother Seth went to investigate and found a sobbing Zavi, who told him that "Yikealo just pushed me!" Seth informed him that Yikealo was sound asleep upstairs. Oops! Seth returned to the dining room with a little smirk on his face and said, "Hmmm...I wonder if ANY of the things he tries to blame on Yikealo are actually true?"

So, to all of you parents of multiple children...is this what my life is going to be like continually when we bring a second child into the home? If so, how do you keep from going insane? Is it that they're just so cute?

Back to the Routine

2011-01-05T12:09:00.000-08:00

The past two weeks have been crazy and fun and full of family, presents and noise. We spent 3 days and nights at David's parents' house with his whole family over Christmas and then last week we were at my Mom and Dad's place for five days and 4 nights. It has been great, but I'm glad to get back to my ordinary, everyday life too! Here's a quick blitz through some of the highlights of the last few weeks:

Lunch at Miss Molly's Tea Room with all of the M family girls - Grandma Alma treated us all and it was such a fun afternoon!

David wanted to start a new tradition of sleeping by the Christmas tree on the night before we opened our presents, so on the Wednesday night before Christmas, we did just that. A certain 4-year-old was just a little too keyed up about the whole experience, and was awake at 1:00 AM begging to open his presents. He stayed awake until sometime around 3:00, when we decided to give him a dose of Benadryl, which made him sleep until around 8 o'clock. At 7:30, while David and I were having our morning devotions by the light of the tree and a dimly lit lamp, he gazed lovingly down at our sleeping son and said, "At 3:00 this morning, I was convinced that we would never do this again, but right now I think it's a fabulous idea!"

After Yikealo opened his presents, we packed up and moved into Mom and Dad M's house for the remainder of the weekend. We had a marvelous time playing games, singing, having great conversations and eating lots and lots of good food. Yikealo had the chance to sleep in the basement with all of his boy cousins, which he thought was just great.

Notice the truly lovely face that Mr. Y is making in this photo. That's pretty much what we get if we tell him that we want to get his picture. Here are some other gems that he insisted on showing us:

There was an absolutely gorgeous snowfall on Christmas Eve, so after dinner on Christmas day, the kids all had a great time playing outside in the snow. When they came in, they were soaking wet, so some of them ended up wearing some interesting combinations to open presents. Here is our annual "grandkids" photo:

On Wednesday of last week, we packed up again and drove to Mom and Dad W's house, where we had several long, relaxing days. On New Year's Eve, Mom had a birthday party for my brother Doug, my sister Erica and her husband Chris, all of whom have birthdays in December.

On New Year's Day David and I celebrated our 16th anniversary, and my family also celebrated Christmas. Everyone came in time for lunch and later that afternoon after naps for the babies, we opened the mountain of presents. There are 14 grandchildren - ages 9 and under (with three of them not even 1 yet) - so things can get fairly chaotic at times, to say the least! Here's a picture of the whole family:

Lots of presents:

Zavier, Ashton and Malia in their new dress-up clothes: (You can tell that these kids belong in our family - we spent HOURS playing dress-up when we were little!)

David and Yikealo enjoying a little quiet time:

We played lots of games: Quirkle, Five Crowns, Settlers of Catan, and Pictionary.

All in all, it was a fantastic Christmas, but like I said earlier, it's good to be back to our version of normal. On Monday morning when he came to wake me up, the first words out of Yikealo's mouth were: "Mom, are we done with Christmas, or do I still get to open more presents?" He pouted briefly when I told him we were all done, which gave me a good chance to talk to him about some imporant things like being thankful, not coveting, and thinking of others. We counted up the presents that he's received from teachers, grandparents, cousins and us this year - somewhere around 15. Then we talked about how his birthmom and his new little brother or sister in Ethiopia probably didn't even have enough to eat while he was opening so many presents. I think that I got through, because when I was done talking, he looked at me and said, "You're right, Mama - I DON'T need anything else. Who should I give my stuff to? Should I give it to Quinn?" I told him that he didn't need to give away his new things, but that he needed to have a thankful attitude and that he should always be ready to share what he has. We'll see how long that lasts...

Game Recommendation

2010-12-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

We had two extended family Christmases this past weekend, and Yikealo received a new game that I am highly recommending for those of you with small children: Richard Scarry's Busytown Eye Found It game.

Cousin Quinn spent the night with us last night - Yikealo's been begging for him to stay over - and this game kept those two boys ENTHRALLED for a good 2.5 hours this morning. The best part was that I even had fun playing it with them. Games like Chutes & Ladders or CandyLand (both of which Yikealo loves) are about enough to send me over the edge, but Busytown is a definite keeper. You play as a team, so you either win or lose as a group - which is another great thing when you are playing with two EXTREMELY competitive 4 year olds. Quinn, being the youngest of four children, usually resorts to his fists to solve disagreements, while Mr. Y tends toward excessive tattling and pouting if he's not getting his way. Needless to say, we had a lot of discussion this morning about teamwork: "Hey, teams do not fight! Teams work together to solve problems. If you two don't knock it off, the pigs are going to win!" By the end of the 7th (yes, you read that right - the 7th!) game, they were quoting me, "Remember, teams work together! Let's kick those piggies' tails!" Great, great choice, Aunt Julie!

Playing House with a Fighter-Mighter

2010-12-17T14:52:00.000-08:00

I was informed today by the boy that he is a "fighter-mighter." What? You mean you don't know what that is? Well, neither did I, but Yikealo explained it this way:

Y: "You have to wear the right stuff, like a backpack, and gloves and boots and a fire hat. And you have to have a bear-n-arrow."
Me: "Oh, I see...but what does a fighter-mighter do exactly?"
Y: "Well, sometimes they climb mountains and stuff. And they shoot stuff. Oh, and they certainly rescue people."
Me: "They certainly do?"
Y: "Of course."
Me: "Hmmm...well it sounds like a dangerous job. What kind of things do you have in your backpack?"
Y: (pulling out a tape measure) "Sometimes you have to measure people." (binoculars) "These are to help me see better." (hammer) "This is for pounding nails." (saw) "This is for cutting logs so we can make hot-dogs."
Me: "Oh, you cook for the people that you rescue?"
Y: "Yeah, because sometimes they are very hungry, and they always like hot dots."
Me: "Interesting."
Y: "Now I need to go outside to see if there's somebody what needs rescued."

When the fighter-mighter came back inside, he had decided that he wanted to be a Dad instead, and I was his baby. I happened to be lying on the sofa at the time, so I figured that I'd play along.
Y: "Child, it is time for bed. Would you like me to get a drink for you?"
Me: "Sure, and then why don't you come snuggle with me?"
Y: "That's what I'm going to do. You don't need to be afraid, okay? Daddy's here." (snuggling in beside me and patting me on the head.) "Do you have your diaper on?"
Me: "No."
Y: "Child, are you a boy or are you a girl?"
Me: "I'm definitely a girl."
Y: "Well then, you need a printheth (princess) diaper, because girls always like to wear a printheth."
Me: "Oh they do, huh?"
Y: "Yes. Child, are you dancing from foot to foot? Because if you are, that means you need to go potty."
Me: (laughing) "It sounds like you've heard that a time or two."
Y: "Okay, Child, now it's time to wake up. You need to learn your shapes and colors, but first, I need to go work at the sink. Then I will help you."

So, is that what I sound like to him? And honestly, what DID I do for entertainment before this kid?

In other news, we had our fingerprinting appointment at USCIS on Wednesday afternoon, so that step is completed. Now we just wait for our favorable determination letter. Once we receive that, we will actually be eligible to accept a referral, although more than likely it will still be months before we learn who our child is. I think I've mentioned this before, but if this adoption were following the same time-line as Yikealo's, we would be bringing our son or daughter home in less than two weeks! Our process this time around is really making me aware of just how crazy fast Yikealo's adoption was.

God must have known that Cleo couldn't have waited even a day longer for her Fighter-Mighter to rescue her.

The Coveted Bear-N-Arrow and "Boss" of the Cats

2010-12-13T10:22:00.000-08:00

Last night was the Sunday school Christmas program at church - Yikealo's first "performance." When I was growing up, my family had the tradition that if we did a good job in our program, we got to open one of our Christmas presents afterward, so David and I decided that we were not above the same type of bribery.

Weeks ago, while looking through a toy catalog, Yikealo excitedly informed us that what he wanted for Christmas this year was a "bear-n-arrow" (bow and arrow, for those of you who actually know how to pronounce things) and he has not stopped talking about it since. So, the Cyber Monday deal on the Vision Forum website had a toy crossbow marked down 60% to $12. I happened to have a coupon for $10 off any purchase from Vision Forum, so I spent around $7 for the bow and shipping! Yay - you've gotta love deals like that. Since it didn't really fit in with our traditional frankincense, gold and myrrh themed gifts, we thought it would be the perfect "program" present.

Yikealo was SO excited to get dressed up and go sing his Sunday school songs last night - he made us turn off our Christmas music in the car on the way to church so that he could "practice some more." He was a very good little boy, thankfully, in spite of the fact that he is on two different cough medications that both have the unfortunate effect of making him EXCEEDINGLY hyper. Besides, he looked rather adorable in his new Christmas outfit.

After church, he opened his present, and we had a hard time getting him to go to bed after he saw what was in it. Of course, Daddy was pretty excited too, and confided to me that he wishes that HE had one just like it. I have a feeling that my boys are going to be getting plenty of target practice in over the next few days.

All I can say is that the resident felines had better watch out. Yikealo has recently "discovered" Cleo, and insists on dragging her around the house, much to her dismay. Whenever we see her skulking around the house with her tail tucked between her legs and her belly low to the ground, darting under the closest piece of furniture, we know that Yikealo is lurking somewhere nearby! When he catches her, he holds her down on his lap with one hand, and repetitively scritches between her ears with his other hand, while she yowls pitifully. He's not actually hurting her, but we can't make him understand that she is not interested in his ministrations.

Along those lines, I overheard this conversation last week:
David: "Yikealo, could you please come give the kitties some more water?"
Y: "Why?"
David: "Because it's your job, and I asked you to. You need to listen to your Daddy."
Y: "Okay, but Dad, I've got a great idea. How about if you be the boss of me, and I will be the boss of the cats?"
David: "Why do you want to be the boss of the cats?"
Y: "Because I want to make somebody hafta listen to me."
David: "Unfortunately, I don't think that will really work."
Y: "Why?"
David: "Because kitties usually listen even less than little boys do. Watch this: 'Frankie, come here!' (long pause) See? She doesn't listen anyway. Being the boss of the cats would not be very satisfying at all."
Y: "That's not fair! Why do I gotta listen all the time and they don't?"

So, dear reader, any suggestions on explaining that one?

Okay, off to get my hyper kid down for a nap. He's driving me just a little crazy today, in case you can't tell. A while ago, I asked why he was being so wild today, and he shrugged and said in a very matter-of-fact voice, "Sorry, Mom, but that's just the kind of little boy you got." Then he told me that it was really "George's fault, because HE started it." This is the same child that informed me last week that he was trying to "get some sleep, but I cannot, because George is jumping on the bed and blowing in my ear." Can you say "active imagination?"

A Prayer Request, New Numbers, and a Strange Medical Finding

2010-12-10T13:51:00.000-08:00

Hi again! One of these days we'll actually get back into the groove of posting more often, but you know how life is. We do have a very important prayer request for all of you though: my sister-in-law Casey (my youngest brother Seth's wife) has been in the hospital over the last few days following some stroke-like symptoms, some seizures and a horrible migraine. She has been through a whole bevy of tests, and the neurologist can't find anything wrong, so she is currently diagnosed with a "very complicated migraine." Obviously, it has been very scary for all of us. She is only 21 years old, and she and Seth already have a lot on their plate. Seth is in his 4th year of pharmacy school as well as working as many hours as possible to support their family. They have 3 small children and they live about an hour away from their extended families. Casey's been told that she may not be able to drive again for a year due to the seizures that she had, so that further complicates everything. Please pray for them: for Casey's healing, for their strength, for Seth's last week of school before Christmas break to go smoothly, for their finances, and for their children. God is faithful, and prayer is so important! Here are some pictures of their family: (Zavier, their oldest is 4 and is one of Yikealo's good buddies, Lexie is 2, and smiley Baby Drew is 6.5 months)

In other news, we recieved our new waitlist numbers today: we are now #84 for a girl and #62 for a boy. Not a lot of movement yet, but that's okay. It will all happen when it's supposed to!

We've asked our case manager to check into the possiblity of us being able to meet Yikealo's birth family when we travel to Ethiopia on our first trip, and she did find out for us that Y's older brother is still in our agency's sponsorship program, so they do have some contact with them. We ask for your prayers in this matter too - that God will give us wisdom to know how to proceed and that he will open the necessary doors for us to meet Mihiret and Edil if possible.

Speaking of Yikealo, he has had a nasty, croupy cough again during the last few days, so I took him to the doctor today for some prescriptions. Our regular pediatrician was off, so we saw a different doctor who pointed out to me that my son does not have a uvula (that little flap of skin that hangs down in the far back of your mouth.) She said that while she doesn't really know about Ethiopia, she used to work with a number of refugees from Somalia, and it was common for them to remove the uvula of an infant shortly after birth! I was very surprised that after all of the different doctor's appointments that we've been to, no one has every mentioned this to us, but there you have it - just one of the many possible bits of random information that you can come across as an internationally adoptive Mama!

Lessons From My Son

2010-11-17T18:00:00.000-08:00

One of my very favorite things about being a Mama is the way God uses Yikealo to help me understand better just how much He loves me. My love for Yikealo does not change or fade or become less "real" based on his behavior. Can I get annoyed with him at times? Absolutely. Does he need to be corrected when he is disobeying? Undeniably. Do I love him any less when he is misbehaving? Certainly not. He is my son, and I love him with everything that is in me. I will go to great lengths to help him understand just how much he means to me, and I'm realizing in a new way that God does the same thing with me, his adopted daughter, during each and every day.

There have been so many times when I am lecturing Yikealo about some wrongdoing that I hear the echo of my words reflected back onto me. When I'm looking into his sad little face and saying, "Why won't you listen? Don't you know that I know what is best for you? There is a REASON that I told you not to do that!" I can almost hear God saying the same thing to me: "I don't want you to get hurt. I love you so much, and I just want to protect you. Please listen! I am not asking you to let this go because I don't want you to have fun; I am asking you to let it go because it could harm you, and nothing pains me more than to watch you get hurt." When I pick my child up to hold him, comfort him, and assure him that I love him in spite of the bad behavior, I can almost feel my heavenly Father doing the same for me: "Come here, Larisa. Lay your head against my chest and just rest in my promises. I love you so much that I died for you. Do you really think that I am going to stop loving you for some reason? I won't! You are forgiven. Go apologize and move forward! My mercies are new every morning."

Last week, Yikealo came home from pre-school with a colorful paper turkey with five tail feathers. Each feather had something listed for which Yikealo was supposedly thankful. His list was rather random: apples, my toys, food, my race car (he doesn't even have a race car) and "the color green." Ahem...green is the color that he has the most difficulty identifying. That evening, David and I were giggling over his list, and David put on his best pouty face and said, "What about your Daddy? You're not thankful for your daddy?" Yikealo shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Yes, I am, but Dad, sometimes little boys just do not THINK of their Daddy." David snorted laughingly and stated wryly, "Isn't that the truth!" I had to think later, though, how often the same is true of me. There are so many times when I become focused on random, rather unimportant things rather than what is really meaningful. I think about my "stuff" instead of about my Abba, or long for silly things that I don't have instead of giving thanks for the countless good and perfect gifts with which He has already blessed me.

Then there's the way that Yikealo teaches me about forgiveness and grace. There is a reason that the Lord says that we are to become like little children - they understand unconditional love and forgiveness in ways that we adults forget at times. I'll give you an example. A few weeks ago, I was flying around in my typical hurry on Sunday morning, trying to get everything done before we left for church. I had ironed Yikealo's outfit and David's shirt, was cleaning up the breakfast dishes that my husband and son had left on the table, and getting ready to start on my hair. David walked through the kitchen while putting on his cologne and proceeded to drop the bottle onto the floor, splashing cologne everywhere, and making it almost impossible to breathe in the kitchen. Immediately afterward, Yikealo slobbered chocolate from a candy bar (that he was not even supposed to be eating) all down the front of his freshly washed and ironed shirt. Ummm.....let's just say that I did NOT respond with grace. I slammed some dishes down onto the counter, yelled something like "Why do the two of you always have to make such a MESS of everything?" and stormed off to the bedroom, where I sulked. That's also where God began to convict me about the serious attitude problem I was having: "Let's have a little talk, daughter dear, about the fruits of my Spirit, shall we? So your boys made some mistakes - you frequently make mistakes too. Just where were you exhibiting love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness or temperance a few moments ago? You need to apologize." I gave myself a little time to cool off, and then walked into Yikealo's room, where he was attempting to button his re-washed and blow-dried shirt. He gave me a very solemn look and whispered, "Mom, I'm really sorry I made a mistake." I knelt down beside him to look him in the eye, and said "Thank you, honey, but I was wrong to react like that. I'm sorry for yelling at you and Daddy. Can you forgive me?" His whole face brightened and he wrapped his little arms around my neck and squeezed. "Sure, Mom! Actually, I already DID forgive you!" Oh, melt my heart...yet another life lesson from my precious son - the willingness to forgive immediately and fully.

Thank You, Father, for bringing this beautiful child into my life. He is teaching me more about You and Your love every single day...

Waitlisted and Other Ramblings

2010-11-10T10:29:00.000-08:00

We finally arrived on our agency's waitlist yesterday, at #90 for a girl and at #63 for a boy. These numbers don't really mean all that much, given our parameters of 0-3 years, but at least we've finally moved to the waiting stage as opposed to the paperwork stage! Our agency is saying that currently most families are waiting 8-9 months for a referral, but that can change at any time. It's just one of the many unknowns in an international adoption. The vast majority of families on the waitlist have specified an infant (0-12 months), so depending on the age range of children that Hannah's Hope receives during any given month, we could get a referral much sooner than that 8-9 months, or we could just keep inching down the waitlist a little at a time.
This much I do know: God has a specific child in mind for us, and He will match up all of the time-lines at just the right moment, so there is absolutely no point in fussing about how long the wait seems. The next step will be to get our fingerprinting done at USCIS - our application has been accepted by them, and we are waiting to hear the date of our fingerprinting appointment. Once our prints have been approved, we will receive our FDL, or Favorable Determination Letter, which will allow us to bring an immigrant into the country. We can't actually get a referral until we have received our FDL, so that's the next big hurdle.

In news of my Dad, it sounds like he will finally be able to go home from the hospital sometime this afternoon. He will have daily appointments with his doctor until they get his Coumadin dosage figured out, but my Mom is THRILLED to be going home. Please continue to pray for Dad's healing and for God's peace to pour out over both of them. Your prayers are so appreciated.

This morning after pre-school, Yikealo ran into the bathroom to go potty, and when he was finished, he came out to find me with a very ornery grin on his face. Here was our conversation:
Y: "Hey Mom, guess what I did to George?"
Me: "What did you do?"
Y: (gleefully) "I flushed him!"
Me: "What?"
Y: "Yeah, I flushed him in the potty!"
Me: "Why did you do that?"
Y: "Cause I wanted to, and it was fun!"
Me: "So are you telling me that George is all gone now? He won't be coming back anymore?"
Y: "No, he will be back, because he knows how to get out."
Me: "Oh really?"
Y: "Yeah. First you turn left, and then right, and then left again, and then he will be back. Then I can flush him again."

So what kind of little kid pretends to flush his imaginary friend down the toilet anyway? Hopefully this is not a sign of future behavior with a little brother or sister!

So, What is a Home Study Anyway?

2010-11-08T08:08:00.000-08:00

We should be announcing our entry to the wait-list sometime this week, so I thought I'd back-track a little bit for those of you who are not involved in the adoption world. This should help to explain just what we've been doing over the last few months since we started this process. The first step in an adoption is the "home study." So, just what is a home-study, you ask? Well, it's essentially an extensive report on a family and their lifestyle, and is eventually used to qualify whether or not a family is suited for an adoption. In our case, since our agency has an office in our state, they conducted the "investigation" on us and then submitted a 14 page report that becomes part of the dossier that we send to Ethiopia. These are some of the things that are required in order for a home study to be completed:

FBI Criminal Checks (completed for every person in the home over the age of 18)
State Criminal Checks (same rules apply)
Local Criminal Checks (same rules apply)
Child Abuse Checks (completed for every state/country that you've lived in for more than 3 weeks since the age of 18 - this is the one that made us wait so long this time around. It is completed by the State of Ohio, and they had 1 person running all of the checks for the entire state. It took almost 4 months for them to get the "all clear" signal back to our agency.)
Fire inspection of your home by the local fire marshall
6 reference letters, one each from the following people: co-worker, neighbor, friend, spiritual leader or other community leader, family member of the adoptive mother, family member of the adoptive father
personal profile of each parent (this is basically a 55 page autobiography. You have to answer every type of personal question imaginable, from what you marriage is like, to how you get along with each member of your family, to any drug or alcohol history for each and every member of your immediate family, to your parenting style, to your religious beliefs, to any mental health counseling, and on, and on, and on...)
Financial worksheet giving a detailed list of all of your monthly income and expenses, your liabilities and assets
a notarized letter from your bank, verifying all of your account standings
employment and income confirmation from your employer
a guardianship statement by the person(s) who will take care of your child, should anything happen to you. The chosen guardians must also match the agency's rules for eligibility, as far as age, income and health status.
Copies of Birth Certificates for each member of the family
Copy of Marriage Certificate
Copy of driver's licenses for each family member
Copy of social security cards for each family member
a letter from your veterinarian, stating the health and immunization status for any pets in the home
photos of the family and the home
proof of life insurance
proof of auto insurance
proof of health coverage, including pre-existing conditions for the adoptive child
copy of Adoption Decree, previous home-studies and post-placement reports for adopted children in the home
at least 10 hours of Adoptive Parent Education (our agency actually requires more than this, as they also require a 175 page workbook, that takes a minimum of 20 hours to complete.)
Medical reports on each person in the home
an application to the state Department of Job and Family Services for a child placement
at least 6 hours spent with a social worker, being interviewed about your whole life
a home inspection, completed by your social worker

Once all of these steps have been checked off, the report gets written and submitted to your agency for approval. Once it is approved, official copies of it need to be notarized and then submitted as part of your dossier, and also to USCIS (Citizenship and Immigration Services) along with an application to bring an immigrant into the country. We did all of this last week, so we should be hearing of our arrival to the wait-list this week, and over the next several weeks, we should be having an appointment scheduled with USCIS to be fingerprinted. It just feels really good to have our work DONE for a little while! Technically, things are out of our hands until we get a referral for a child.

In other news, my Dad has been really sick with a horrible mix of a Crohn's flare and blood-clots. He's spent a good share of the last two weeks in the hospital, and from what the doctors are saying, we are very blessed that we didn't lose him. Your prayers for his recovery and for my mom's strength would be greatly appreciated.

And just one quick Yikealo story as I close today: he is becoming quite adept at the art of flattery. There have been a few times lately when a request by him has been met by a "maybe" from me. When he hears that, he gives me a very winning smile and says in a soft voice, "I hope that you will say 'yes'!" Then the compliments start flowing. He'll walk up, wrap his arms around me and say things like, "Mom, I really like your pretty face" or "Mom, your pretty hair makes me happy," or "Mom, you make really good food. This is truly scrumptious!" I mean, really, how am I supposed to resist that?

Lonely, Sushi, a new Friend

2010-10-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

Here I sit at the Charlotte airport, away from my wife, away from my son :(

I am such a home body. I hate traveling for business, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. This past weekend I've spent four days in San Antonio and have learned something quite poignant: you can miss two people in completely different ways at the same time.

The conference I attended was on San Antonio's Riverwalk. If you've not been to San Antonio then the only way to describe the riverwalk is to imagine your favorite romantic walk and then stretch it out for 6+ miles. Gently flowing water, lush vegetation, gurgling waterfalls, soft background music, and picturesque dining tables everywhere you look just begging you to sit down with your sweetheart and hold her hand... but I'm in Texas... and my sweetheart is in Ohio :(

And then the phone rings, and I answer and hear: "I rode a horse and touched a snake!!!!" The wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear my son's precious little high-pitched voice is about enough to make me tear up through my smile.

Two different relationships; both so different; both absences felt full force... simultaneously. Will I ever get home?

On Sushi:
The millions of sushi lovers couldn't be wrong, could they? Turns out... yes.

I've eaten California rolls in the past. Once or twice at different functions they've been served as hor d'oevres and I figured I'd try them and, to my frustration, they've always tasted just as nasty as they've looked. So anyway, a business colleague had a hankering for sushi and after filet mignon two nights in a row I figured "why not?" I like fish, I like rice, I even like soy sauce a little. How bad can it be? Besides, all those nasty California rolls were served at hotels and, like many other foods with which I'm more familiar, the hotel versions probably don't do justice to the real thing.

Things I've learned:

There is a very good reason we cook and season our fish. That would be because it's gross when consumed raw.
The salmon colored, thinly sliced food on your plate between the... er... salmon colored salmon and the... er... salmon colored yellowtail is actually ginger. Just because it is more thinly sliced and easier to pick up for the novice chop-stick user, and just because it's on your plate, doesn't mean you should eat it. If you do your mouth will taste like you just ate an entire flower shop... and a Bath and Body Works store.
The little blob of avocado colored gunk on you plate is actually wasabi. Just because it looks like guacamole, and just because everything in San Antonio is served with guacamole, and just because it's on your plate doesn't mean you should eat it. If you do, your head will feel like you ate a volcano.
You can ruin perfectly good smoked salmon by smooshing it together with cream cheese, bland rice, and wasabi colored avocado and then wrapping the whole mess in seaweed.
Just because a place can't pull off the main course doesn't mean you should rule out dessert and coffee. This was quite good and pulled the experience from F- to a solid F.

A new friend:
I boarded the flight from San Antonio to Charlotte feeling very lonely and ready to be home. God arranged for me to be in a seat next to the sweetest little lady; she was reading her one-year Bible and her name is Vivian. Vivian was widowed 20 months ago and is still working through her grieving process. She was visiting San Antonio for a 45 year college class reunion -- her first time out in 20 months. We chatted from take-off to landing. Over two and a half hours. I didn't feel lonely once. Thank you, God, for a friend. Anyone reading this, please say a quick prayer for Vivian and ask God that he would comfort her.

Time to board for CAK. This blogger needs to go home.

Finally Moving Ahead

2010-10-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

At last! The State of Ohio FINALLY completed our child-abuse checks - after ONLY 104 days - and we are moving on to the last stage of our homestudy. A few weeks ago our agency decided to make an exception in our case that would allow us to start our social worker interviews while they were still waiting to hear from the state. I was so glad that they did...while I understand completely the point of waiting for a family to pass all of the legal hurdles before allowing a social worker to visit their home, in our case it seemed a little silly. Stacy, our social worker, had visited us to complete her final post-adoption report on Yikealo ONE WEEK before we applied to our agency for this second adoption. Obviously, she knows us well, and she knows that we're not child abusers! Anyway, we heard this past Tuesday that we had passed with the state, and on Thursday evening we met Stacy and her daughter at the Ethiopian restaurant in Cleveland for our third and final interview.

By yesterday, she had already turned in her report to her superior in the Ohio office for review before it gets sent off to Oregon for approval. Once the Oregon office approves it, they will return it to Stacy for notarization, and then we will receive copies of the completed report. We have to send one to USCIS along with our application to bring an immigrant into the country. One gets sent back to our agency as part of our dossier. Once our dossier is reviewed and approved, we will finally be added to the waitlist! I'm hoping that we'll make that by the end of October, but we'll see. At that point, our dossier will get sent to Ethiopia for translation, and USCIS will give us a fingerprinting appointment. Once our fingerprints are approved by the Department of Homeland Security, we will recieve a Favorable Determination Letter (FDL), which will allow us to bring an immigrant into the US. At that point, we will be able to actually recieve a referral for a child, although based on the current waitlist, it will probably take a while longer. This is all new terrritory for us, as with Yikealo's adoption we received his referral before we had our dossier completed, before we ever received our FDL, before we ever made it onto a waitlist, before we even knew that our homestudy had been approved! There will be lots more steps this time, which all goes to show what we've been saying all along: God knows His plans for us, and He controls the timelines. Everything will happen precisely when it's supposed to happen - even though the waiting can seem hard at times. At any rate, it feels good to be moving forward after several months of absolutely nothing!

The Yikealo-ism for the week: As he was getting ready for pre-school on Wednesday, he suggested that I do his hair while he put on his socks so that we could see "who is the faster." I agreed, and then he continued: "Mom, if you win then I will be your slave, but if I win then you will be my slave." Ummm...how about NOT! Besides, son, even setting aside your overly competitive nature and the whole problem of slavery, I think that you are imitating the wrong guy in the David and Goliath story!

Recent Quotes from the Resident 4-year old

2010-09-21T06:21:00.000-07:00

as I was washing dishes: "Mom, I would like to dry for you. Would that be helpful?"
after taking a bite of a new dish: "Hmmm....not TOO bad..."
"Mom, am I just too cute for words?"
while talking on the phone to his cousin Shana: "Bye! Over and out!"
as I walked out of my bedroom dressed for the day: "Mom, that outfit is horrid."
after being reprimanded: "Mom, can I tell you something? Sometimes it's just really hard to be good." (Don't I know it, buddy!)
"A-E-I-E-A-P-T-E-Y. Mom, do you know what that spells? It spells 'elephant'!"
after listening to some geese honking overhead: "Mom, why do those geese always squeak like that?" Me: "Well, that's just how geese talk to each other." Y: "Oh. Well, how do a pygmy marmoset talk?"
first thing this morning: "Mom, I'm sorry that I was not being a good little boy last night. Will you forgive me?" Awwwwwwww!
after showing me some accomplishment: "Did you ever know I was this smart?"
while complaining about bedtime: "Why do little boys always hafta go to bed early?" Me: "Because little boys need lots of rest so that they can grow up big and strong." Y: "But you LIKE me to be little."
prayers at bedtime: "Thanks for God and for mom and for we're getting a little boy or a little girl and they don't have much to eat. Please give them much to eat and please help the peoples to not get sick, and for Daddy have a belly ouchie (he still remembers David's stoma from last fall) and for You will make him all better and for Mom would not let me play my game on the pincuter (computer) and for that was not nice. In Jesus name, Amen."
"Hey Mom, you know what? God loves you when you're a bad girl and he love you when you're good. And He love Daddy when Daddy is good, but He still love Daddy if he is bad. And me too. God love me when I'm a good little boy, and He still love me if I be bad. Is that the troof (truth)?"
"Mom, you're a very cute little girl."
after being told to stop pouting just because he had not gotten his way: "But Mom, why you ALWAYS get YOUR way?" Me: "I don't." Y: "Well, it seem like it to me."

Preschool, the Fair, and a Scary Pirate

2010-09-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

Life's been pretty crazy lately - hence the total lack of blog updates. We've had lots of great, busy weekends traveling and visiting friends, and David has been putting in quite a few extra hours at work over the past few weeks...so, since Mr. Y is currently getting ready for some Daddy time, I figured it might be a good time for me to catch up.

Yikealo started pre-school on September 1st, and he really seems to like it. After weeks of talking non-stop about it, we had a bit of a set-back on the first day when being dropped off in a new location with lots of other kids triggered some memories of his birthmom leaving him. When we arrived, he went into his "coping" mode, which essentially means that he pretends that I don't exist and doesn't respond to me in any way. When I picked him up, he was still behaving a little indifferently to me, but thankfully, Aunt Susan managed to get a few photos anyway!

When we got back home that morning he was really acting out, so I asked him what was going on. First he said in a quavering voice that he missed his daddy. I responded that Daddy was at work, but he would be home that evening, to which Yikealo replied, "Mom, it is SCARY when you leave me with those people, because I don't know them and maybe you're not coming back!" I said that I wouldn't ever leave him there, to which he replied, "You did not stay at that house, and that is like leaving me." Then he started bringing up bits of convoluted memories from Ethiopia, so I knew immediately what he had been frightened about. He is so well-adjusted most of the time that it always surprises me a little when he has a flashback - and yet I know that in some ways this could happen for the rest of his life. It's funny, because I really don't think that he even remembers Mihiret - if he brings her up at all, he calls her by the wrong name, and if we ask him about her, he says that he doesn't remember her - and yet he definitely remembers the feeling of being left with strangers. I'm just glad that he talks about it with me and shares his feelings. On the second morning, he was pretending to be sick so that he wouldn't have to go, but when I picked him up he told me, "I was not scared today, because I knowed that you were not gonna leave me there. I knowed that you would come get me, 'cause I'm your little boy." Since then, he's been delighted to go and generally comes home overflowing with information about what his teachers said or what he learned.

Along those lines, we had the following conversation last week. After our devotions at night, one of us usually lies down with him for awhile, and he always asks for a story. I had told him the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead and then we talked about it:

Me: "You know, this story is a really good reminder that God can use what seems like a terrible thing to show how powerful He really is. He can take bad situations and make them into something really beautiful. Yikealo, have you ever had something happen to you that was really scary?"
Y: (thinking hard) "No."
Me: "I think that you have, but maybe you just don't remember it. Can you remember when you lived with Mihiret?"
Y: "No."
Me: "Well, you did live with her for awhile, but when she couldn't take care of you any more, she took you to some men that could help you find a new Mama, and I think that you were probably really scared when that happened."
Y: "No I wasn't! I just wanted to be with you! I always want to be with you, Mama!"
Me: "I'm really glad that you feel that way, but that just shows what I'm trying to say. God took a really sad thing and turned it into a wonderful thing, and I'm so happy that you're my little boy."
Y: "Me too!"

In other news, my sister Erica visited us earlier this week, so Yikealo got to play with Mimi for most of two days. These are two seriously bossy kids who are both used to having their own way, but they did pretty well together most of the time.

On Tuesday evening, we took Erica and Mimi to the fair, and the kids had a blast on the rides. They got to take turns choosing, and I must say that Malia was the most adventurous of the two - choosing the ferris wheel and a little roller coaster - although I think that had more to do with the fact that Yikealo was enamoured of all of the "boy" things like cars and motorcycles. I was reminded of just how terrified I am of heights - let's just say that next time, David is going to be the one riding the ferris wheel with our son!

After Erica and Malia left for home, we continued to walk around the fair looking at the animals, which caused no end of whining and complaining from a certain little boy who just wanted to go on more rides. At one point, he stamped his foot and said, "I HATE this! I want to go on the rides!" - so I gave a little lecture: "Listen, Yikealo, this is not all about you and what you want. We are a family, which means that we take turns. Daddy waited patiently for you while you were on the rides, and now if he wants to look at animals, that means you need to wait patiently for him. We've already told you that you can go on some more rides, but you are going to wait your turn, okay?" He gave a long-suffering sigh and grudgingly said, "Okay" but I think that he really did get the message. A few minutes later, David asked him if it was okay to look at some cows on our way back toward the rides, and Yikealo replied, "Sure, Dad. It's not all about the rides, you know."

He did manage to talk his Daddy into buying him a lovely plastic light-saber at the fair, and then last night at Target my two "boys" agreed on horrible foam swords and a shield from the $1 section, so we have had a sudden infestation of pirates in our house. They've been having non-stop sword-fights, intermittently shouting "Hi-yah!" or "Engarde!" - except that Yikealo's version is, "Hun-yah to God!" Ummm...yeah...I don't think that this is exactly what we want him to be learning, is it Dear? Here are some photos of the pirate captain and his first lieutenant:

One other example of religious training gone awry: Last night we were walking at a local park, and Yikealo was spitting with abandon over a little hill. I told him to stop because it was really gross, and he replied, "It is not! It's cool! Jesus learned me how to do this when we were up in the clouds, and he said it's good!" You have to admit that he's pretty innovative with his excuses. How am I supposed to argue against something that Jesus "learned" him to do after all?

Growing Up So Fast and Some Other Updates

2010-08-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

I have definitely turned into a Mom - one of those emotional, but oh-so-proud women who delights in her child's new accomplishments at the same time that she grieves just a little bit that he is growing up so fast. Case in point: he starts pre-school next week. He is beyond excited, and asks every single day, "Mom, when I wake up from my bed, THEN it will be time for me to go to pre-school?" We bought him the required back-pack last week - a gray and lime-green affair that is much too big for him, but that he insisted was the one that he liked - and he has been dragging it around ever since. He fills it up with random things that he deems necessary for pre-school: paper, stickers, his "bottle-water" (in case he gets "firsty") and...his I-Pod shuffle (which I've been trying to explain will NOT be accompanying him!) It's only for two hours at a time two days a week, and the teachers are ladies from our church, and it will be a wonderful opportunity for him to learn and interact with lots of other little people, BUT...I'm still kind of dreading it. I never dreamed that it would be such an emotional thing for me to let go just a little bit - and this is only the beginning of letting go!

He has also learned to ride his bike sans training wheels during the last week - a feat of which he is prodigiously proud. He's been continually announcing to random strangers, "Hey, you know what? I can ride my bike without training wheels!" and then puffing out his little chest and waiting for the praise to start falling - which it inevitably does, because he's just so adorable with that huge grin on his face. I have to admit that his skill is pretty impressive, considering that we purposely bought his bike bigger than necessary so that he could "grow into it." His feet can't touch the ground when he's sitting on the seat, so I wasn't planning to remove the training wheels until next year when he was a bit taller. However, the little daredevil had been riding so recklessly down our fairly steep driveway that his training wheels were bent beyond usefulness, and he was actually learning to ride his bike leaning to one side in order to compensate. So, the training wheels came off, and after about ten minutes of David helping him to stay up, Yikealo had the riding thing down perfectly. I was thinking that he'd still need us to get started and stopped, but he figured out that if he pulls alongside the curb, he can easily stop by touching his foot to the grass (which is about 7 inches higher than the street.) With a few tries, he also figured out that if gets the pedals positioned just right, he can start the same way - by pushing off of the curb. I was pretty proud of his "problem-solving" - but it just proves that when there's a will, there's a way. The new developments in riding do require frequent stops, by the way, so that Y can practice putting down his new "hand-stand" and no amount of talking on my part can convince him that it's called a kick-stand.

He hasn't out-grown George though. I was sweeping several days ago, and stopped the vacuum cleaner next to Yikealo's chair while I went to unplug it. As I was walking out of the kitchen, I saw him reach out and put his thumb on the start button, so I gave some orders: "Yikealo, don't you DARE turn that on!" He looked at me with a very insulted expression and insisted in his best "Duh-Mom!" voice that he wasn't going to turn it on. I asked why he was touching the "On" button if that was the case, and he replied, "Mom, I am holding the button so GEORGE will not turn it on!" Oh, of course! What WAS I thinking?

This morning, as David was getting ready to leave for work, Yikealo was stomping around the house with a blanket for a cape, a balloon for a weapon, and a fierce expression on his face. He informed us that he was a very, very bad guy named "LaWishy" and that he was "stremely dang'rous" to touch. David responded, "Well, if you're too dangerous for me to touch, then I guess I won't be able to kiss you goodbye" to which Yikealo said, "No, YOU can touch me, and Mama can touch me too." I asked who exactly he was so "dang'rous" for then, and he quickly replied that he was "dang'rous for George to touch. George is very afraid of bad guys!" All I can say is that George MUST be a sissy if he is scared of a bad guy who can't abide the thought of missing his morning goodbye kiss from Daddy!

A quick update on our second adoption: quick, because there is absolutely nothing happening right now. We had finished all of our paperwork and parent education by the middle of July, and I was very pleased with the fact that it had taken us a little less than one month to finish. However, I suppose that I needn't have hurried quite so much, because the State of Ohio is currently taking at least 70 days to complete child abuse checks on prospective adoptive parents, and our agency can't continue with the homestudy process until they get that report back from the state. AGCI filed the paperwork on June 14th, so it should be 70 days as of today. Hopefully we'll hear something by the end of this week, at which time we can schedule our interviews with our social worker. She has to spend at least 6 hours with us to make sure that we're fit to parent another child, and then she has to write our homestudy report, which is basically a brief history of us: our lives, our beliefs, the reason we are adopting, and our parenting style, along with her personal recommendation of us as adoptive parents. Then, that has to be approved by the central office in Oregon, signed and notarized, and returned to us, where it will become part of our dossier. Once our completed dossier arrives in Oregon and is approved, we will be added to the waitlist for a child. We were told two weeks ago that our agency is currently telling families that are added to the waitlist that for a child of 0-3 years it could take up to 18 months just to receive a referral! That was a little surprising, considering how quickly everything went for us the last time, but there have been so many changes to the program, as well as a LOT of families who have signed on since then. If this adoption were following the same time-line as our previous one, we would be receiving a referral within the next month - and now we're learning that it could be a couple of years before we are home with our second child! So, we're settling in, preparing our hearts to wait, and reminding ourselves again and again that God's timing is perfect. He knew every bit of this when He called us to adopt a second time, and He is in control of everything, so there is really no point in being anxious about any of it.

In other news, we are still struggling with USCIS and the Social Security Administration over Yikealo's information. I filed for his Soc.# in mid-June. We had waited for a full-month from the date that we had received his Certificate of Citizenship with the updated birthdate - hoping that it would have given USCIS enough time to get all of their records straight. Two weeks ago, after waiting for 8 weeks, I got a call from the local SS office. They had received a notice from the Department of Homeland Security stating that the information in their database did not match what SS had for Yikealo, so we would need to make a trip to our local USCIS office to ask them to update their computer system. WHAT? We need to take time off of work, drive an hour to Cleveland, pay parking fees, and then drive an hour home - just to tell a government office to DO ITS JOB?? How does that make any sense whatsoever? USCIS GAVE us the document that doesn't match their computer data! At any rate, we didn't really have a choice, so last Friday afternoon, I got the pleasure of yelling our personal information through a plate-glass window to a hard-of-hearing USCIS employee who didn't speak English very well. Oh joy! After a few minutes of me holding papers up to the glass and shouting my request, he appeared to understand my predicament and supposedly "fixed" the date in the computers. We'll see. I called Social Security today to have them try again, so I'll expect to hear something in 8 weeks or so. Pardon the sarcasm, but doesn't it just warm your heart to think that government offices will be handling your healthcare too at some point? Oh well, as I stated above, God holds the future, so what's the point of worrying?

Learning To Be Uncomfortable

2010-08-10T20:43:00.000-07:00

Last week I shared a bit about our family vacation to the beach. What I didn't share in that post were the not-so-happy or comfortable thoughts that were in my mind during the entire week at the beach. Thoughts that someone was missing. That our family was not complete. That I more than likely have a future child living somewhere in Ethiopia right now. We have said that we will take a child up to age 3 - our agency translates that to mean up to 47 months. As there are relatively few families who have parameters above 12 months old for an adoptive child, that probably means that we will get a 2 or 3 year old. Assuming that this adoption will be completed over the next year and a half or so, that means that I have a child who is alive at this moment. Who is he or she? Are they still living with their birth-family or are they in an orphanage somewhere? Maybe they're alone on the street. While we were celebrating the joy of being together as a family was my son or daughter grieving over the loss of their own family? While we were enjoying the contents of a ridiculously over-stocked pantry, was my little boy or girl starving somewhere? Did they eat at all during those days that we feasted?

Let me be clear: I don't feel guilty for taking a vacation with my family. At the same time, I don't want the things that I find pleasure in to rob me of the ache inside that God has blessed me with over the last two years. I'm so thankful that He is teaching my heart to break for the things that break His. I don't want to forget - EVER - that there are millions of people who don't have the most basic necessities of life. I want that knowledge to pour through me, washing away the perceived safety and ownership and comfortable-ness of life that I live. Nothing that I have is MINE - it's all God's - so what will it take to really make me live every single moment that way? Yeah, so it's hitting me hard right now, because I have a child out there somewhere, but will that really have changed when we finally reach the day that we bring the 4th member of our family home? We'll still have so many brothers and sisters around the world who are hurting, who don't have enough food, or medicine, or shelter, and provisions for their children. I NEED to stay uncomfortable in my own life - because until God grabs my attention and shows me how selfishly I've been living, I generally don't do anything about making the necessary changes. I forget to "live simply so that others can simply live." My wants starts becoming "needs" in my mind, and I find myself justifying expenditures or lifestyle choices with "my" money - forgetting to ask God how He wants me to use His possessions that He has given me stewardship over.

I have a tendency to "shut down" mentally when faced with the overwhelming sorrow of others - "I can't really do anything about it anyway, so I just won't think about it right now." Instead I am learning to keep my eyes and my heart open to the pain - to really weep with those who weep. And although feeling a burden and a heartache over the broken pieces in this fallen old world isn't exactly comfortable, it's such a good thing. It drives me to my knees and it reminds me to turn over every moment and every possession to my Creator. It makes me long for Heaven - for the day when His nail-scarred hand will wipe away every tear. Until then, I want Him to continually mold me and bring me closer to His image - to go on making me uncomfortable, because it is in those places that I learn who He really is - a God who made Himself to be one of us, and therefore identifies in a very real way with the hurting and the broken. A God who asks us to be His hands and feet, to show His love to everyone that we meet. A God who gives dire warnings to those who refuse to be compassionate to the wounded.

"Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me." Matthew 25:41-45

My Lompster can crap his fingers...

2010-08-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

David here, as you no doubt guessed by the potty post. Sorry for that, but you'll see in a minute that it's not what you think it is.

I arrived home one day early this week to a darling... er, I mean ferocious... boy who viciously proclaimed through bared teeth: "I'M A LOMPSTER"...

Having just arrived home, I wasn't sure of the day's activities, which would have lent clues as to whether I was being faced by a vile monster or a dangerous lobster, but regardless, the proclamation ruined the intended effect.

Later in the week, and after trying for months, Y was finally able to snap his fingers for the first time and ran up with his excitement spilling over to proudly proclaim: "I can crap my fingers!" (snicker) Now I'm not sure what portion snap and what portion crack that represents, but it's just proof once again that he fits into my family perfectly.

Anyway, the real reason for the post, and the reason I'm just lovin' up my son so much is as follows:

I've known about the tragic accident in Steven Curtis Chapman's family since the time it occurred; I remember hearing of his daughter's death the day it happened and have prayed for their family and their continued witness. However, a reminder of this sad event came back to my life last week when Steven's song "Beauty Will Rise" got so stuck in my head -- the words are breathtaking... but that's not what I'm writing about either.

The music led me back to an interview the Chapman family did with Larry King and, from there, to the topic of this post: "Heaven is the Face."

Heaven is the face of a little girl
With dark brown eyes
That disappear when she smiles
Heaven is the place
Where she calls my name
Says, "Daddy please come play with me for awhile"

God, I know, it's all of this and so much more
But God, You know, that this is what I'm aching for
God, you know, I just can't see beyond the door
So right now

Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams

And God, I know, it's all of this and so much more
But God, You know, that this is what I'm longing for
God, you know, I just can't see beyond the door

But in my mind's eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space
All the cancer is gone
Every mouth is fed
And there's no one left in the orphans' bed
Every lonely heart finds their one true love
And there's no more goodbye
And no more not enough
And there's no more enemy
No more

Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss
And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You
And we both run into Your arms

Oh God, I know, it's so much more than I can dream
It's far beyond anything I can conceive
So God, You know, I'm trusting You until I see
Heaven in the face of my little girl
Heaven in the face of my little girl

I can't tell you how emotionally raw these songs have made me; the poignant lyrics hit a nerve and have taught me to weep and rejoice with the family all at once. They've also taught me to delight in the every day moments with my son...to share in his great joy over the smallest things.

So for all of you parents out there: take that Maple Syrup kiss from the messiest of mouths. Let your child fall asleep in your arms, read that book, play that game. Because there is no guarantee that you'll be able to do so tomorrow.

Vacation at the Beach

2010-08-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

We just returned from a fabulous week in Ocean Isle, North Carolina with David's entire family. We do this every four years - rent a house on the beach and share a week together - and this time around there were 23 of us. Thankfully, the house had 8 bedrooms and bathrooms, as well as two refrigerators, two dishwashers, and at least 3 coffee makers, so we didn't lack for space even with all of us there.

Yikealo absolutely LOVED this vacation - the pools, the ocean, and most of all, the attention from 22 other people. I have a feeling that this will be a rough week for my little social butterfly now that he's stuck at home with just Mom! Yikealo was one of three new additions to our family since our last trip to Ocean Isle, and the other two were right down his alley: his 4-year old cousin and best buddy Quinn,

and Jarin, the husband of our niece Julie. Jarin loves little kids, and he spent so much time playing with the boys - throwing them into the pool, playing a Lightning McQueen driving game with them on the X-box, and swinging them up onto his shoulders. Julie was laughing about the fact that every time she walked into a room, she would immediately hear a chorus of "Hi Jules-Annie! Where's Jarin??"

One really interesting thing from the week is Yikealo's perception of his tan. He's definitely becoming more aware that he is darker-skinned than David and I, and has been asking all kinds of questions about it lately. He's asked several times when he will turn white like Mama...and we've talked a LOT about God's creation and His creativity - that no two people are alike, that God loves variety, and that we should be happy that God created us just as He did. Our heavenly Father made some people with light skin and some people with pretty brown skin, and either one is just perfect. We've compared the similarities and differences of the three of us: Daddy and Yikealo have black hair and brown eyes while Mama has brown hair and blue eyes, Daddy and Yikealo have plain skin while Mama has freckles, Mama's skin is light while Daddy's is medium and Yikealo's is darker, Daddy and Yikealo are boys while Mama is a girl, etc.) One thing that has really worked in our favor is that David's entire family is very dark complected, and there is not just a whole lot of difference between Mr. Y and his cousins. The following is a photo that we took last summer right after we returned from Ethiopia. It shows Yikealo's arm next to the arms of three of his new cousins, and Yikealo's arm is not the darkest in the picture.

Anyway, as Yikealo's skin continued to darken in the sun last week, he became very excited about how "white" his bottom was getting! I couldn't help but to laugh at that, because in fact, David's skin is actually darker right now than Yikealo's "natural" color. Don't get me wrong - I don't care in the slightest what shade of brown my son is. He could be as black as ebony and that would be absolutely fine with me. I've just been thankful as he's started to notice "differences" that we could point out so many similarities to him - that he doesn't need to feel singled out or unusual in the slightest, because he is a perfect creation of God! I can't wait for the day when we stop separating ourselves mentally from our brothers and sisters because of a silly thing like how much melanin we have in our skin...for the day when we finally recognize that there is only ONE race, because we all descended from Adam and Eve and then later from Noah and his family.

Okay, off my soapbox and on to some more family photos from the week! We spent Wednesday evening on the beach attempting to get some good pictures of the families, and for the most part we succeeded. It's just way too tempting for little boys to get filthy splashing in the water and digging in the sand, and they're really not interested in having their fun interrupted for boring old Mom and her camera. It doesn't help when Daddy explains the ordeal this way, "Yikealo, 'family pictures' is a time when everybody gets dressed up so all the boys can get yelled at." Thanks a lot, dear!

Anyway, here is the whole lot of us:

Mom and Dad, who made it all possible:

Jim and Karen's family:

Mark and Julie's family:

James and Susan's family:

and the three of us:

Here is one of the grandkids:

Finally, a few goofy ones to finish this post! Yikealo fell in love with these horrible frog goggles and wore them constantly all week. He looked like a little alien creature with his water wings and goggles.

The little boys generally ate their meals outside on the picnic table, which worked great for the most part. Unfortunately, at times the desire to fling things over the deck railing was just too much for them. One evening at the beginning of the week, we looked outside to see a line of boys pressed up against the railing. Yikealo's shorts were around his ankles, and as we headed outside to start yelling, he turned around and proudly announced, "I went shinte on Uncle Jim's truck!" Needless to say, Uncle Jim got a lot of teasing for the remainder of the week, and the next morning, after a thorough washing, the truck was moved to the "safe" side of the house - far away from ornery little boys.

I must confess, however, that it wasn't just the little boys who were behaving badly! My dear husband and his younger brother James tend to become more hopelessly juvenile the longer they are together. Their older sister Karen described it this way: "I think that they regress a few years for each day that they're together, so by Friday, they were about eleven years old again!"

On Friday evening, they decided that they needed a "team look" for their euchre game...

and then they came up with the brilliant idea of trying to take "forced perspective" photos of David "holding" James...

Let's just say that there was a lot of rather hysterical laughter, considering that it was around 11:00 PM at that point.

All in all, it was a great week, with lots of family bonding, spiritual discussion, and quality time. We can't wait for the next OIB vacation in 2014!

The Things Kids Say...

2010-07-17T05:00:00.000-07:00

What parent hasn't felt embarrassed at times over the things their small child says in public? We've certainly experienced that with Yikealo lately. As his English has improved and his shyness has disappeared, it has opened up a whole new world of humiliation for this mama! Take these random questions and comments to various people for example:

to a lady in front of us at the grocery check-out line: "Are you an OLD lady?" (She just started laughing at the mortified look on my face and answered, "You know, I AM kind of old!" His reply: "Like my Daddy?")
to a waitress at a restaurant: "You're kind of a cute girl!" I mean, what is that?? Who wants to hear that they're "kind of" cute? And why is he noticing at this age anyway?
to a "vertically challenged" gentleman at church: "Why are you not tall?" This man now thinks that Yikealo is very funny and brings him candy at every opportunity - so much for trying to teach him NOT to ask embarrassing questions!
My parents were visiting a couple of weeks ago and Dad was playing ball with Yikealo in the backyard. Y proudly told our neighbors, "This is my grandson!"
while waiting in the radiology lab the other day: "Mom why is that lady short and old?" This was, of course, said in a VERY loud voice.
to a man at church who has hooks in place of hands: "Why you don't got any hands?" The man replied, "Well, I was in an accident years ago, and I lost my hands." Yikealo gave him quite a look and said with a little snort, "Well, THAT's not good.You get better now, okay?"
to an obviously male waiter in his early twenties, "Is your name Sister Miriam?" This comes from one of Yikealo's very favorite Sunday school songs about Baby Moses and his sister Miriam. Needless to say, the guy was not terribly impressed.
while shopping in Bath and Body Works last night: "Mom, please tell the lady that her store smells yucky!" This was said basically to the store manager who was restocking a shelf right next to us. She cracked up laughing.
to a 70ish lady who held a door open for us: "Thank you, young man!"
to the manager at our local Rite Aid (who happens to be completely infatuated with Mr. Y) "Kaka is poop!" Thank you, cousin Quinn, for teaching Yikealo this wonderful information! He is so pleased at knowing it that he now wants to share it with everyone!

We're trying valiantly to teach him about what is and is not appropriate to say to people that are essentially strangers, but so far it's not going so good for us! Any suggestions?

He's also decided lately that he doesn't like to snuggle with Daddy, because "Daddy's too bony. I like Mama, because Mama is soft!" Hmmmm....that might make me feel good, except that he asked this morning, "Mama, why are you fat?" Oh yeah, thanks a lot, bud. All I can say, is it's a good thing that you're so cute!

My Sister's Blog

2010-07-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

For all of the Yikealo fans out there, I thought that maybe I should let you know that my little sister has begun blogging their adoption journey as well. They are using the same adoption agency that we are using, but they are ahead of us in the process by quite a bit at this point, having hit the wait list a few weeks ago. We do, however, have exactly the same parameters as far as age: we are both willing to take a boy or a girl up to age 3. The big difference is that they are on the siblings list as well, while we only plan to adopt one child. Anyway, if you're interested in following along, her blog address is: http://www.possibilityofmiracles.blogspot.com/.

Erica and I are only 18 months apart in age, and we grew up sharing a room. When we were younger, we fought about all of the typical sister things: clothes, boys, space, etc., but today I consider her one of my closest friends. It is amazing to be sharing the journey of adoption with her and her family right now - someone else with which to share the many ups and downs involved in the process - and it is so exciting that our children will have cousins from their birth country!

Vacation as a Family of Three

2010-07-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know that we're sadly behind in our blogging, but we have a really good excuse...namely, lots of paperwork and parent education for adoption #2, but...as of next week, we should be finished with everything on our homestudy other than the social worker visits. Yay! The end of the paperwork chase is in sight!!!

Anyway, three weeks ago, we left for our first vacation together since we brought Yikealo home last year. We went to one of our favorite spots in the world - a little lake cottage in Michigan that has been in David's family for 65 years or so. David and I have been there so many times during the course of our marriage, and we have always loved the quiet, relaxing setting - far away from the pressures of day-to-day life. Well, needless to say, although we've been there several times with other people's children, it was very different this year. When other people had their kids along, THEY were responsible for watching said kids - while WE sat for hours on the swing reading books...and that is SO NOT what happened this year!

Don't get me wrong - it's not at all that our vacation was bad. It was just different. To give you a few examples:

Instead of sleeping in until 9:30 or 10:00 and slowly awakening to the view of sunlight dancing across the water outside, we were awakened at or before 6:00 by a hyper little boy running into our room, jumping on our bed and asking, "Please, can we go swim in the boat?"

Instead of spending quality time on the swing, we were constantly saying things like, "Yikealo, DO NOT jump off of the swing again!" and instead of reading long novels, we read books like "Tootle" and "The Saggy, Baggy Elephant." (Thanks to my sister Erica for bringing two of her kids up to visit for two days, so Shana could take over reading duty for awhile!)

It is fairly difficult to really relax around a large body of water when you are mother to a fearless 4-year-old who LOVES the water and has not had swimming lessons yet.

Instead of being perfectly content with our glorified rowboat with its small motor (just perfect for trips across the lake to the beach), there was a certain little person who was definitely coveting his neighbors' speedboats (and jet skies, and sand toys, and beach-front property.) He constantly begged to be "driving" the boat and pretended to be a pirate while doing so.

Instead of long, leisurely, meandering walks around the lake, we found ourselves saying things like, "Yikealo, PLEASE stay over to this side! There is a car coming!" or "No, I will not carry you. You are perfectly capable of walking" or "Okay, let's go back. He's obviously not going to be happy until we go to the beach." After several days of this, we discovered that if we gave him a little basket in which to collect "treasures", we could walk for as long as we wished!

Instead of baking ourselves for hours while falling asleep on our beach towels in the sand, we took turns tanning for a half hour at a time while the other one splashed around the frigid lake with a very happy, loud child who had chattering teeth. Once we could see that his lips were turning blue, we had to drag him kicking and screaming up to the sand to build sand castles for awhile and warm up.

Biking around Mackinac Island into a stiff breeze is certainly easier WITHOUT hauling nearly 40 lbs. of little boy behind your bike in a 15 lb. burley cart. However, it is very exciting to see familiar places through new eyes!

New ice cream flavors tried at the local creamery: Superman, Blue Moon, Cotton Candy, and Lemon Chiffon (because he wanted "yellow")

Instead of long afternoon naps, we heard the continual "kwaaaaang-BLAM" of the screen door as the boy raced in and out of the house.

We do not have a television in our home, so instead of taking the opportunity to watch fun channels like HGTV on the cottage TV, we became very familiar with Dora the Explorer and Handy Manny.

Instead of listening to good mystery novels on tape or CD, we found our own mysteries to solve: Hmmm...trail of sand and water droplets from the back door leading to Yikealo's bedroom...sopping wet, sandy swim trunks lying on the carpet beside the bed...naked child standing out in front of the cottage, valiantly trying to pretend that he had listened to his mother's injunction to stay out of the house until Daddy had rinsed him off. Yeah, his attempt at deceit didn't work so well, because I am obviously not as dumb as he thinks I am! Since the front of the cottage is very close to the road, I'm sure that some passers-by had quite the view.

Instead of playing a few rounds of putt-putt golf, we played "puff-puff cough" (as translated by Yikealo.)

Instead of sitting outside quietly, hoping to watch the squirrels, chipmunks and bluejays squabbling over the peanuts that we had set out for them, any wildlife was chased away by someone who was quite determined that he was going to "catch a chick-mump."

After well over 15 years of marriage, I discovered that my typically calm, sedate hubby is really just a little boy inside. He delighted in showing off so many "talents" for his son, including throwing rocks, bailing out the boat, teaching Y to climb on all kinds of things, and setting off explosives. Yikealo was highly impressed, of course!

(This look of complete and total adoration occurred after Daddy startled him by throwing down a handful of those little TNT Pop-Its. Anybody who can make that loud of a noise MUST be a true hero!)

All in all, we had a grand time together - especially after the first few days of adjusting to our new normal! We've just traded lots of "R and R" for lots of wide-eyed excitement over new experiences - and I must say, the new normal is a lot of fun!

Gotcha!

2010-06-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

It is difficult to believe that a year ago today Yikealo took the step out of his pictures and off the pages and swaggered into our lives in person. Has it really been a whole year!? Didn't we get him yesterday... or has it been ten years now...
In retrospect, we were foolish to make "the walk" up the hill from the Union Hotel to Hannah's Hope with such trepidation in our hearts (for an account of that day, see THIS). At the time though, there was no way for us to differentiate between our loving, well-adjusted, eats-everything-in-sight, sleeps-through-the-night son from the distant, troubled, picky, howler that we dreaded adopting. Rather than fitting the bill of our nighmare, Yikealo has been simply delicious for the past year. With a cherry on top!

From that first morning in Ethiopia when we woke up to him kissing our noses and then demanding we kiss his to giving me "some squish" this evening before bed, he has been a little boy full of love for his adoptive parents. His smile is infectious; there are new friends to meet everywhere. It is amazing how much better we know our neighbors now that he draws them into conversation everytime he sees them while we're out walking.

I am so thankful for the year that I've had with my son and that even though he's grown five inches eatin' his mama's cookin', he's still small enough to fit so comfortably in my heart.

Happy Father's Day, Dearest!

2010-06-20T19:23:00.000-07:00

David, it has been an amazing thing to watch you grow into the role of a father during the last year. You have always been the best husband that I can imagine, and it has been a joy to watch the love that you have for me expand to include the precious little boy that we brought home from Ethiopia one year ago. So, thank you - for loving both of us, for being such a great provider, role model and picture of Christ all wrapped up in one wonderful package. I hope that you will always know how much you mean to both Yikealo and me. Right now, he may not have the words to tell you, but I hope that you see it every day in his actions - in the way that he begs for "one more kiss" before you leave for work, in the way that he drops whatever he is doing to run to the door yelling "Daddy's home!" when you return in the evening, in the way that he tries to emulate you in every possible thing, and in the way that he proudly tells people, "Me and my Dad have dark hair and dark eyes." He may listen better to me, but it is so easy to see that you are everything that he wants to be!

Birthday Party

2010-06-09T05:16:00.000-07:00

Yikealo's birthday is at the end of this week, but we celebrated with David's family last Saturday. A certain little boy was VERY excited about it all - he's been quite envious of all of his cousins who have had birthdays during the last year, and he's asked over and over, "When is MY birthday?" Thanks to James and Susan for hosting all 24 of us for a very loud, fun evening - just a little pre-cursor to our family vacation later this summer!

We were supposed to do appetizers for everyone, and as part of that, we treated the family to a taste of Ethiopia. My Mom was visiting for a few days, and we took her to Cleveland's Ethiopian restaurant on Friday evening. Mr. Y had not wanted to go - when we told him that we were going to eat injera and shiro, he said, "AGAIN??" and pouted (we haven't had it since February). As soon as we were served, however, he LOVED it - he couldn't stop eating, even though he was getting quite full. At one point, he was holding his stomach, and he asked me to loosen his adjustable waist jeans, but then he dug into the food again. I tried to caution him, "Yikealo, if you're getting too full, don't eat anymore. You don't need to finish this, okay? You don't want to get sick." He gave me one of those "You-are-so-silly-Mom" looks and said, "If somebody is getting full, they just need their mom to make their pants not too tight and they can eat more." Hmmmm.....makes me wonder if there was some psychological thing going on with memories of hunger, because we often have to argue with him to get him to eat more than about 3 bites.

At any rate, we bought some extra shiro and injera for David's family to try at the party and ALMOST everyone tried it!

Yikealo soaked up all of the attention as usual. There were presents, a pinata, a cake and lots of ice cream, and ultimately, a very happy little boy.

He fell in love with these goggles for some reason, and spent quite a bit of the evening riding a tricycle around the basement while wearing them...attractive, isn't he? He said that he was "the bad guy."

Check out this ornery kid! Is it any wonder that Quinn and Yikealo are such good buddies?

The younger boys all received matching shirts for our trip to the beach later this summer.

The kids all had a marvelous time with the pinata - just what they all need, more sugar!

I was very busy last week with the Nursing Home silent auction, so David handled the party planning and the cake. He did a great job, and I don't think that I have ever seen a Dad so excited about a little boy's birthday...

I wish that I had gotten a good photo of Yikealo's face while we were all singing "Happy Birthday" to him - he was just glowing!

After the candles were blown out, the two little boys had a great time dipping the candles into the cake and licking off the frosting. The germ-a-phobes among you can pretend that you didn't see that part!

As a special note to Aunt Susan and Aunt Julie, the boy has been spending as much time as possible this week riding his bike while wearing his new Spiderman "hollmet" and squeaking his horrid bicycle horn. He generally has his new pop-gun wrapped around the handlebars, and has to make frequent stops to "shoot" our next-door teenage neighbor boy, Heath. Heath, being a great kid, plays along and pretends to fall down dead, which of course encourages "the bad guy" to continue...

One Year of Parenthood

2010-06-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

One year ago today we officially became parents to a little boy named Yikealo when our case passed court in Ethiopia. One year ago today Yikealo said goodbye to his birth mom when she stopped by Hannah’s Hope to visit him after finalizing her relinquishment during the court process. Here is a photo of him from that day taken by our case worker who was in Ethiopia at the time:

On the other side of the globe, my day was a little different than I had been imagining it would be. I had always pictured myself staying quietly at home, praying and fasting through the day of our court date, but that wasn’t to be. David was voted onto the board of directors for our church’s nursing home a few years ago, which made me an automatic member of the ladies' auxiliary. Friday, June 5th, 2009 happened to coincide with our HUGE annual garage sale and silent auction at the nursing home, so I knew that I was going to be kept very busy all day - all week actually. Looking back, that was probably a good thing because I really didn’t have time to worry or fret over the outcome of the court appointment. In fact, that morning I was up by 5:00 in order to get everything ready on time to be at the nursing home by 6:00. Ethiopia is 7 hours ahead of us, so as I sat down for a quick breakfast, I knew that it was quite possible that our case had already gone before the judge. We had been told by our case manager that we would not hear any results until the following week, but as I spent some prayer time with the Lord that morning, I remember telling Him, “Father, I wish I could somehow know the outcome of this. I would feel so much more peaceful today if I could just know whether we’ll pass this step. Could You please let me know somehow?”

I opened my Bible, and the following words leaped off of the page at me: “Woman, behold thy son.” My arms were immediately covered in goosebumps, and I JUST KNEW…I was a Mama. Three days later, that news was confirmed by a phone call from AGCI’s office, but God had told me first.

So, technically, I've been a mother for one year now - and what an amazing year it has been! As of today, we've sent off our signed and notarized contracts to AGCI for our second adoption, and we are looking forward to what the next year will bring...

Memorial Day

2010-05-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

Today was a fun day full of new experiences for Yikealo. We started out the morning by meeting Grandpa, Grandma, Jana, Jason, and James and Susan's family for breakfast and then we watched a Memorial Day parade. After the parade, we attended the special service held at the Wooster Cemetery. Yikealo got to see his first parade, learn about saluting the flag and spend lots of time with his cousins - all very exciting things. Our favorite quote of the day, however, came as a result of our attempts to explain our plans for the morning:

Me: "Yikealo, you need to hurry up and get dressed, because we need to leave soon."
Y: "Menden we're going?"
Me: "Well, we're going to go have breakfast with Grandpa and Grandma, and then we're going to go to a parade."
Y: "Menden a parade is?"
Me: "It's kind of hard to explain, but you'll get to see some police cars and some fire trucks and then we'll go to the cemetery and you'll get to hear some guns being fired and hear a band playing some music. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Y: "Yeah! Mom, can I please shoot the band?"

Okay, so he totally missed the point of that explanation! Not to mention - what a violent way to commemorate Grandpa's service as a NON-combatant army medic in Vietnam! Once we got to the cemetery, he wanted to know if he could pull the flags off of the soldier's graves and play with them. We told him that he couldn't, and David attempted to explain:

David: "Yikealo, do you know what a soldier is?"
Y: "No. Menden a soldier is?"
David: "A soldier is a person who fights a war - as part of an army."
Me: "So that other people can be free."
Y: "Oh! Okay! I'm free too!" (He meant "three" - he still can't get the "th" sound down.)
David: (grinning at me) "So, how's it going for you this morning?"

Anyway, he was pretty fascinated with everything, even if he didn't get to "shoot the band." Here are a few photos for everyone...

He got to ride on Grandpa's shoulders for quite a bit of the time - what a spoiled little boy! In the first photo, he was insisting that Jana hold his hand so that she wouldn't fall.

Jumping In Again...

2010-05-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

So, God has been moving in our hearts for quite some time now, and during the last few weeks, He's really been grabbing our attention...and we are starting over on another adoption! It's so different than last time, and yet so much the same. It's scary stepping out into the unknown, but it's not quite so unknown as it was in the fall of 2008. We've actually got almost a year of parenting under our belts this time around, but of course every child is different, so that may not mean much at all in the end. We've already been through the paperwork and homestudy part of it once, so we may know what to expect, but on the other hand, there have been lots of changes to the process since we went through it, the most obvious being that Ethiopia now requires two trips to adopt a child.

The biggest change is in our hearts. We aren't fighting with God going into this adoption - instead, we are looking forward with joyful expectation to see where He will lead. Our eyes have been opened to the great need of the nearly 150 million orphans in this world that we as Christians have been called to serve and care for. Our hearts have been broken by the contrast between our lifestyle and the ones we saw in Ethiopia last summer, and we cannot turn our backs on the fact that we have the room and the resources available to take in another child in desperate need of a family. We are thankful that God has called us so clearly once again to reach out to "the least of these," and we are looking forward to the day when we meet our second child.

Will there be difficult days ahead? Absolutely. The little boy or girl that God brings to us will have already dealt with some type of horrible tragedy in his or her life. There will be scars and pain to deal with. Satan will try his best to distract us from the Lord's plans, and there will be days when it feels like he is succeeding. The last time, his attack came in the form of David's disintegrating health at a very crucial time. Yet we know that "greater is He who is in us," and our Father will be there through every single moment - to pick us up, dust us off, and restore our faith in the beauty of His promises. He is faithful, and after all, He has already done this for us: adopted us as His son and daughter - in spite of the mess that we were in, in spite of the way that we fail Him, in spite of the way that we push away from Him at times. He loves us anyway - always and forever. If we are to be His reflection to a dark and dying world, how can we turn away from those who need His light so very much?

We invite you to pray with us as we embark on this new journey. Pray for our unknown child, for the family in Ethiopia that is perhaps being forced into unimaginable choices, for Yikealo and his acceptance of a future sibling, and for our courage and faith to stay strong. Most of all, we ask that you pray that the name of Jesus will be glorified!

Proof of Citizenship

2010-05-12T04:25:00.000-07:00

Apparently, there was no need whatsoever for concern about our appointment with USCIS yesterday, but thanks anyway for your prayers! I'll have to give some background here on why I was worried in the first place...

When an adopted child enters the US on an IR-4 visa (meaning the adoptive parents did not meet the child before the adoption became final in the foreign country) that child becomes a permanent resident, but not a citizen, so the parents need to re-adopt the child in order to gain citizenship. Every state, and actually every county, has different requirements on re-adoption, so it can get a little confusing. The state of Ohio requires that the child must live with you for a minimum of 6 months before the re-adoption takes place, and our county requires an attorney and a court procedure. We took care of that part of it in December, received an Ohio birth certificate in February, and then tried to apply for a Social Security number using his new birth certificate and the official court documents. I knew that eventually we would need to apply for a Certificate of Citizenship (COC), because you cannot get a US passport using only the Ohio birth certificate, as it is a shortened version. However, at that point, we were mainly concerned with getting our taxes done so that we could collect the rather hefty adoption tax credit, and I had heard from other adoptive parents that dealing with USCIS to obtain a COC could be quite a lengthy process. One family applied for their COC last July, and in mid-February, they were told that hopefully their application would be looked at within that next month - a little longer than we wanted to wait!

We were told three different times by three different Social Security agents that we had everything necessary and that we should receive the number within 2 weeks. After waiting for 3 weeks and hearing nothing, I called the SS office to check on it. Sure enough, I was told that they had been "planning to call me" because their computer system wouldn't take Yikealo's information without a COC, so we would have to get that document first. AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! At that point, it was past the middle of March, so taxes were due in less than a month. We filed with the IRS for a tax ID number for Yikealo and also filed for an extension on our taxes. In a funny side-note, the tax ID # supposedly takes 4-8 weeks to obtain, but ours came after 3 and 1/2 weeks...on April 16th. We barely needed that extension!

In the meantime, I got serious about the COC nonsense and downloaded the form from the USCIS website. The 7 page form has 8 pages of instructions, and you have to send copies of every document ever produced about yourselves in with it: birth certificates, marriage license, proof of residence, court documents, Ethiopian documents and translations, green card, passport photos, etc. Oh yeah, and a check for $420. In addition, we sent copies of the referral documents that showed the two different birthdates for Yikealo, as well as a letter stating why we had made the decision to change his birthdate. Before I sent the packet in, I called USCIS to find out if I needed anything additional to explain why his Ethiopian and Ohio birth certificates had two different dates. The woman that I spoke with said, "Oh my, I have no idea how you should handle that. Let me check with my superior." I waited on the phone, and when she came back, she informed me that USCIS would undoubtedly reject my application unless I wrote to the US consulate in Ethiopia and asked them to please have the Ethiopian government to issue a new birth certificate with the new birthdate. WHAT???? In a slightly panicked voice, I told her that was impossible, and then I got a little sarcastic, "So you're telling me, that even though he became a US citizen in DECEMBER, has an OHIO BIRTH CERTIFICATE, and a UNITED STATES JUDGE signed court documents stating his new birthdate, that you still need another meaningless birth certificate from ETHIOPIA? It's not like the current Ethiopian birth certificate is original in any way - it has our last name on it, for crying out loud! Don't you think that the Ethiopian government has more important things to do than make up documents for citizens of another country?" She stated again that I could try to send in what I had, but that it probably would be rejected.

I called our adoption agency and spoke to the post-adoption coordinator, who told me that she had never heard of such a thing, and they'd had several families who had successfully changed a child's age. I went ahead and sent the application and supporting documents to our local USCIS office in Cleveland, and then prepared to wait for months before hearing anything further. To my surprise, we received the interview summons within 3 weeks. It didn't say anything about why an interview was required, but it did say in bold letters that we needed to bring the original documents for every single copy that we had sent in. Needless to say, I was a little worried, although David kept telling me that everything would be fine.

So, yesterday we went to Cleveland for our appointment...and it was great! We were essentially there for a ceremony welcoming Yikealo as a US citizen. The lady that we spoke to was very friendly and she kept commenting on how cute Yikealo was. The only "original document" that she asked for was his green card - which she kept, because he no longer needs it. We had to verify his name, our address, and his birthdate, and then sign several documents in his name. Finally, David had to stand, raise his right hand and take an oath of citizenship on behalf of Yikealo. Y thought that this was great fun and raised his right hand too, trying to repeat everything that the lady said. Finally, we received the coveted Certificate of Citizenship, along with a letter from President Obama congratulating Yikealo, and Yikealo received a little American flag. It was actually a sweet little moment, and even better....we're DONE! All that remains is to get that Social Security number...

Motherhood

2010-05-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

I recently came across a scrapbook page that I did over 5 years ago after watching my sister and sister-in-law with their children at Christmastime that year. At that time, my views on motherhood looked like this:
"I have to admit that I don't ever remember having the desire to become a mother that most women seem to have. Maybe it's simply that I'm too selfish, but I love the feeling of being responsible only for myself, and I find the truly selfless attitude of the young mothers around me amazing. Motherhood will sit on an uncomfortable stairway while the rest of the family is celebrating Christmas Eve - just to make sure that the child is falling asleep upstairs. Motherhood will hold and console a cranky child for hours if necessary. Motherhood gets more excited about the child's new teddy bear than about her own Christmas gifts. I don't want it for myself, but I truly enjoy watching this miraculous thing called motherhood."

Okay, so it's no secret that my feelings have changed rather drastically during the last year, but those of you who know me realize that those changes didn't come easily. I gave into God's call to motherhood under duress and only after arguing vehemently with Him first. I remember a phone conversation with a close friend a few weeks after we brought Yikealo home, during which I said, "I still don't understand why so many people WANT this! Life with a child isn't BAD at all, but it's certainly not BETTER than what David and I had before, so why does everybody seem to have this great "need" to become a parent? I'm just not understanding why this is so desirable." She wisely told me that I "just hadn't gotten to that part yet" but that I undoubtedly would before too long. She was right of course. Today I can honestly say that I adore Yikealo more than words can express, and I love being a mother. He brings so much joy into our lives, and I cannot imagine my existence without him.

Yet I cannot attribute the change in my attitude only to the relationship that I have with my son. There is someone else who deserves recognition on this day dedicated to mothers...her name is Mihiret Embaye, and she is Yikealo's first mother. She has impacted my life in so many ways, even though I've never had the chance to meet her face to face. She has dealt with so much pain and hardship that I can't even begin to imagine. She has lived with disease, with unbelievable poverty, and with overwhelming losses that would cripple almost anyone. She has made impossible choices, and her courage in those decisions staggers me. She has given my son life two times over: through birth and through relinquishment to strangers who could provide physically for him. That wasn't a simple choice for her, and I can't imagine the heartache that it caused. Yikealo is one of the happiest, most loving little boys that I have ever met, and I know that those characteristics aren't completely attributable to the care that he has received from David and me. He understood affection and love in a wonderful way from the day that we first met him, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he learned much of that from the wounded hands of the beautiful woman who first cared for him.

An update from our case-worker at the beginning of last June gives a tiny glimpse into what Mihiret was going through during her last meeting with Yikealo: "I also met a birthmom who had come to say goodbye to her child. I could not believe what she must have been feeling. She was crying at first, but it was good to be there and laugh at the silliness of her little one and encourage her as best I could. I hope I can see her when we travel to the North to meet her other child who is in our sponsorship program."

The knowledge of her has brought so many questions into my life. Why have I been given everything that I could ever want while she struggles every single day just to survive? If our lives had been different, would she and I have been good friends? Yikealo's personality meshes so perfectly with mine that it's easy to imagine that his two mamas might have hit it off too. How can I complain about the little so-called "problems" in my life when she and so many others are being forced to make the ultimate sacrifice that motherhood could make - the giving up of their children so that those children have the chance to survive? When I find myself thinking that I just "need" the next new thing, I have only to look at her pictures and her face reminds me how selfish I am. She has taught me so much about contentment and thankfulness and yes, shame, without ever saying a word to me. I think of her every single day, and I feel so responsible - not only to take care of the precious gift that she gave to me in the form of Yikealo, but also to make the most of the many blessings that God has given me.

So, to any mother who may be reading this, as you celebrate the gift of your children this weekend, remember to say a prayer for the millions of Mihirets around the world. They are truly examples of the miracle of motherhood...modern-day Jochebeds who have sacrificed their own joy in order to provide their offspring with a hope and a future.